Specky Dissapointment

Speaking of self-indulgent, I really hate to say it, but I think the ABC's Spicks and Specks (Wednesday, 8:30pm) has well and truly jumped the shark. I've been consistently tuning in - hoping to see some spark of life but there is just nothing. It's doing great guns in the ratings, giving aunty a good boost, but everyone I speak to about it is feeling the same way.

Poor Myf has lost her shine since she moved-on-up to commercial radio (the strain of the breakfast shift is certainly taking its toll on her usual exuberance) and Adam Hills seems to be taking every opportunity to indulge his own interest in ... well ... himself.

The thing is that Adam, Myf and Allan are all very likable people - there's just something NQR about the show lately ... I honestly don't think I will persist in punishing myself any longer and tuning in - except for those few minutes at the end so I don't miss the start of the Chaser of course.

Thank God for the New Generation

I wonder if channel 10 lost any sleep over Thank God You're Here moving to channel 7? It seems they needn't have. The super-fun-time that is Talkin' 'bout your Generation (channel 10, Tuesdays, 7:30pm) is giving it a good run for its money in the ratings. I would love to see these two pitted against each other on the same night - or even a fisticuffs between the two lovable hosts - perhaps a mud-wrestle? ... too far?

I've actually found myself wanting the teams on Your Generation to shut the hell up so the focus gets back to Shaun Micallef - his hilarious intros and outros are pure comedy gold. I just don't understand why he's not married to me (his wife probably does, and good for her).

Anyway, I'm finding Thank God You're Here to be a bit tired this year. At first I thought it could be the guests, but even the genius of Tony Martin last night could hardly keep me interested. The performances are a little lack-lustre and, dare I say it, self-indulgent.

Or maybe the TGYH train is leaving the station and the new generation is pulling in.

Chasing those naughty boys.

Well The Chaser's War on Everything (ABC1, Wednesday 9pm) is back and not a moment too soon. Just the intro was reminder enough of what we've been missing since the boys took a hiatus in 2007.

Sure some of the gags are pushing the envelope for the sake of being controversial - Chas getting his gear off is getting a bit old - but overall it's a tight half-hour of schoolboy naughtiness and cheeky jokes (mostly at the expense of Jesus H. Christ).

I forgot how much I missed them - I hope the they continue to fight the good fight for all of us lazy bastards that can't be bothered questioning the mediocrity of life as we know it.

The War on Everything website has lots of extras and goodies here.

AND the official Chaser website is much of the same hilarity - click here.

Masterchef, stick a fork in me - I'm done

Channel 10's Masterchef is doing quite well in the ratings and is the usual reality tv fare. I've been watching it here and there and while there are a few likable characters (I adore judge Matt Preston - his outfits are the most entertaining part of the show) there is one very particular sticking point as to why this show is almost unbearable.

I've got two words for you: George. Calombaris.

And it's not as if you can watch it on mute because his physical appearance is one of the contributing factors. Besides the fact that he is repulsive in every sense, he is also one of the most egotistical wankers on Australian TV - and that's saying a LOT! *waves to Ray Martin*.

I could probably happily watch the show if it weren't for him spitting out inane comments like "Cook like it's gonna save the world, yeah?!" - you idiot. And all those shots of him shoveling food into that insipid little mouth of his - puke!

I don't understand why people like him so much, let's get one thing straight: he cooks. That's all. He probably cooks quite well and makes a whole lot of money but he's no Jacques Raymond.

I may be exaggerating slightly - basically the show is Big Brother with meat on a stick - how far wrong can you go with it?

I only wish they would keep Mr Calombaris away from the camera.

Food Investigators on SBS

The Food Investigators series started last Wedensday on SBS at 7:30pm. I wasn't home on Wednesday night - so I just watched it just now - online at sbs.com.au. (One of the things I love about SBS is that if I miss something I know I can see it later, fast AND free).

But back to the show: the host, Dr Renee Lim is perfect. She's likeable, cheerful, eloquent and smart. The look of the show is bright, the segments are short, sharp and informative and the analysis seems quite well balanced. Basically, I really enjoyed it - the 'average Joe' (Joe Avati) is a little annoying in that he tends to over-act - but it was episode one after all and he will hopefully warm into the role.

Basically the show is great. Much better than channel 9's What's Good For You which just happens to be on at excactly the same time. WGFY seems to fluff around with time-consuming and uneccesary graphics and annoying music - and the show doesn't excactly wear its commercial interests on its sleeve; some segments are just advertisements for products cleverly disguised as 'health' advice.

Another annoyance about WGFY is that if I want to watch it later online I have to suffer through the advertisements - something SBS has not yet introduced to its online content (- though it's only a matter of time).

I'll be watching Food Investigators again - and so will you if you know what's good for you.

Bogan Heroics

After a shooting last week in King's Cross (details here) one of the witnesses chosen by channel 9 to air on their news has become a web sensation.

Clare Werbeloff made a statement to reporters while the incident was unfolding - her words were:

"There were these two wogs fighting. The fatter wog said to the skinnier wog: `Oi bro, you slept with my cousin'. And the other one said: 'Nah man, I didn't for shit, eh' and the other one goes: 'I will call on my fully sick boys, eh'. And then pulled out a gun and went chk-chk boom!"

I'm not going to embed the video or give her any more attention than she deserves.

First of all - the fact that everyone is making fun of a shooting where a man was injured and in a critical condition is abhorrent. She, and ignoramus half-wits like her, are already too well represented in mainstream media.

Secondly, using the term 'wog' is extremely offensive - would that eyewitness account have been used if the men were 'niggers' or 'abbos'?? Who at channel 9 decides what is an acceptable term for a nationality?

The ABC style guide states (regarding ethnicity):

"Refer to ethnic origins only when you’re certain they’re relevant. It’s not appropriate to “tag” whole ethnic groups in reporting crime or other anti-social behaviour."

and on discrimination:

"We need to be careful in our choice of language not to contribute to discrimination."

- Of course anyone expecting good taste or accurate reporting should not be watching channels 9, 7 or 10, but surely some basics on reporting ethnicity is obvious, no?

Yesterday the Herald Sun website reported on the popularity of the video on YouTube - in particular a dance remix of the grabs from Clare and other witnesses.

Unfortunately with the rise in citizen media, 15-minutes-of-fame can become a few weeks, a tell-all book and a t-shirt. We all remember 'naughty Corey' - the boy who had a party and ended up in the Big Brother house.

Basically, by choosing that piece of video for the story channel 9 chose to (a) focus on the ethnicity of the perpetrators, (b) bring a colloquial term that is rude and derogatory back into the mainstream and (c) highlight all that is wrong with Australian culture.

Well done.

Edit 24th May:
Shock! Horror! Gasp! Ms Werbeloff has come out as a phony - unfortunately her time in the sun is being extended with a supposed interview with A Current Affair tomorrow night.
Unfortunately all of the above is still relevant and is only exacerbated by the insistence of the major stations hanging on her every move.

MORE bacon?!!

Everyone knows (though they might like to tell themselves otherwise) that junk-food is bad for us. Of course the massive rise in obesity in Australia and around the world has meant that fast-food restaurants have had to change their tactics somewhat. For example McDonald's has healthy choice options and Subway of course is touted to be the "healthy" fast-food *couph couph*.

You can even find inspiring images like this on the McDonald's website;


But what I really love is that whilst all the other fast-foodies are rushing to become the healthiest and the leanest and the most fat-free - good old KFC is just adding more bacon. The latest treats from KFC include a "pocket" that has a piece of chicken, a hash brown, some bacon, maybe some cheese, perhaps some whipped cream ... - I digress.

Basically, I think it's honourable (-as honourable as a mass corporation that has no social concience can get) that they aren't even bothering with the healthy option. They should just have an ad where a fat man or woman stops hoovering from that famous bucket for one moment to tell the viewer "Hey - I really like KFC - and so do you - because it tastes shit-loads better than a piece of lettuce".

* And no, the irony of having changed their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC because they didn't want the word "fried" in the name is not lost on me ... but it does make me hungry.

CHANNEL NINE movers and shakers

Word has it that Tracy Grimshaw will be moving on up to the channel 9 elite club that is 60 Minutes after her supposed 'hard hitting' interview with Matthew Johns. I found it interesting that Nicole Brady in the Green Guide today lauded Grimshaw and suggested that she single-handedly gave the channel 9 news and current affairs division "a much needed shot in the arm".

She may have asked the 'tough' questions with Johns but as an interviewer Grimshaw's holier-than-though attitude and botox-affected emotionless face make it very difficult for her to be taken seriously in any circumstance.

And really, isn't the sign of a good interview ultimately getting the interviewee to reveal something unexpected of themselves? John's performance last week could be likened to the infamous Wayne Carey interview on Denton - in that both Johns and Carey said nothing more than what their advisors had recommended they say and displayed just the right amount of crocodile tears and 'respectful regret'.

Also, Karl Stephanovic, after his hung-over antics on Today, will supposedly be hosting A Current Affair. Rather than injuring his career the boozy post-logies rants have given him a leg-up.

The Herald Sun website suggests that Nine execs aren't happy with the imbalance of power due to Lisa Wilkinson being the dominant character of the two - god forbid that a woman have the spotlight on a supposed-news program! They are pitting Karl against Today Tonight host Matthew White (the Herald Sun called it "Bloke on Bloke" but I doubt that would get clearance for 7pm).

So poor Lisa is looking to get a 'serious older man' as her co-host ... how old's Eddie McGuire these days?

SBS TWO: coming soon

SBS will launch its second channel SBS TWO on June 1st.

The new channel will feature more world cinema and drama, doco's, news and sport and is said to have a clearer image with most programming in widescreen format. You'll need a digital set-top box or in-built tuner to receive the new channel as with all of the digital channels.

SBS TWO's main draw-card for cycling fanatics (of which there are surprisingly many) is that it will be showing the entire Tour de France 2009 - live - every single stage.

Scarygirl Game

Australian, Nathan Jurevicius is an amazing artist, illustrator, toy designer and storyteller, who created "Scarygirl" - the cute but slightly deformed little girl who was abandoned one night and found by a friendly octopus and guided by a mystic rabbit.

Nathan's designer vinyl toys are much sought after and his artworks are becoming more and more exclusive.

The Age's Green Guide supplement last week reminded me about the scarygirl website and the game that I have been anticipating for a while now!

Needless to say - it's amazing - the artwork alone is worth a look-in. I've been playing it for ages now!!

Here's the link - but don't get started if you only mean to play for a short time!

Sex and Football

The Matthew Johns story last week was bigger than the Budget when it came to headline news. A story of an event that happened 7 years ago was again thrust into the spotlight after the anonymous woman involved in a group-sex incident with Matthew Johns and other NRL players appeared on the ABC's Four Corners in a story about sex and sport - link to the website here.

Tracy Grimshaw then interviewed Matthew Johns and his wife Trish on A Current Affair which you can see here. (Beware: Tracy does her usual useless job of being a 'hard hitting journo' and has so much botox in her face that it's difficult for her to react with human facial expressions).

SO - since the story broke a former colleague of the woman involved has appeared in the news saying that the girl was bragging about the group sex the next day and has basically said that she was a 'slut' anyway and just wants attention.

As of today the "Support Matthew Johns" facebook group has around 150,000 members and a lot of the comments are saying things like "she was a willing participant" and "she was bragging about it" - so seemingly the word of a former-colleague was happily accepted above the girls version of the event.

And so what? So what if the girl told her workmates what happened? So what if the girl agreed to have sex with a few NRL players? Does that mean that the footballers involved are innocent and they are morally absolved?

Is a 19 year old girl mature enough to get herself out of a situation that's gone too far? I understand that some women are willing participants in group-sex activities but there are different kinds of group-sex - there is one kind that involves mutual respect and participation on all parts and there is another kind that we hear about in relation to football "end of year trips" where a team groupie is basically treated like an animal and 'run-through' by all the boys in the team.

Is Matthew Johns a hero for cheating on his wife? Seemingly if she is stupid enough to forgive him so then should his fans.

Let's talk about the sex industry. I don't care what anyone says about glass ceilings or about women's rights there is NO equality between men and women on this earth as long as women can be bought and sold as a commodity. Which sex do you see half-naked on late night TV selling phone-porn? Which sex do you see on the billboards advertising 'mens lunch special' at the Men's Gallery? Women in our society are a product - and they might not even have to be bought with cash - maybe it's jewelry or a promise of stardom - maybe it's the wonderful pleasure of being able to say they had sex with Matthew Johns *insert sarcasm here*.

Supposedly there are prostitutes who 'enjoy' their work, but when you look at the psychological make-up of these women they are using sex the same way a lot of teenage girls use sex - to get attention/affection from another member of the human race. Some of them are using it as self-punishment. Someone said to me that some prostitutes find it 'empowering' - well if that's the only way they can have power over a man I feel really sorry for them - us intelligent women just start an argument and win it *wink*.

Many representatives of the NRL have used the 'boys will be boys' defense - in that men will have sex with a women if given the chance - supposedly it's in their genetic make up. I'm sorry, but any man who walks into a room where 10 or 11 other men are lining up to have sex with a young girl and decides that he too will line up is not a man - he is an animal. I don't care if the girl is supposedly a 'willing participant' - lining up to have sex with a girl who has just had sex with 10 other men is wrong. It is treating that woman like a piece of trash. It is taking any human aspect of that woman away and degrading her.

And how about the fact that men should be able to have self-control? Or have football players been knocked in the head so many times that they have an excuse for not evolving? The men at my work were making jokes about the "she wanted it" factor the day after the Tracy Grimshaw interview. Very evolved.

Unfortunately there are women out there who want to have sex with footballers and who have no self-respect and who ultimately make life difficult for the rest of womankind who just want to lead our lives without being called "sweetie" by bus drivers or leered at by old men at the supermarket. Unfortunately because those women are happy to be treated like pieces of meat a lot of men assume ALL women can be treated this way (-except for your mums, daughters and sisters of course).

The problem, ultimately, is that most people are stupid. Men are stupid for thinking women can be treated like shit. Women are stupid for letting men treat them like shit. Unfortunately, the stupid outweigh the intelligent and the majority rules.

* I'm going to stop there because if I continue I won't be able to stop. There is no resolution to this issue.

That's when good Neighbours ...

Alright, alright so Neighbours is going to show a cheeky pash between two girls - here's what the neighbours.com.au site had to say;

In an episode to be shown later this month on Australian television, Donna Freedman (Margot Robbie) and new character Sunny Lee (Hany Lee Choi) will share an "impulse kiss" after a love letter scandal.

In 2004, the show attracted the criticism of conservative groups after showing a kiss between schoolgirls Lana Crawford (Bridget Neval) and Sky Mangel (Stephanie McIntosh).

The thing is, the media is saying Neighbours is 'copying' Home and Away, but that's not likely considering Neighbours film up to six months in advance of air dates. It's more likely that Neighbours writers are trying to reflect gen-y popular culture at the moment - which is full of tweeny Lindsay Lohans and Katy Perrys trying a lil' girl on girl action to spark their careers.

Meanwhile, both shows have featured lesbian kisses in the past with the same 'outraged' reaction so it's really nothing new. More interesting is the fact that there was talk at the start of the year that one of the young male characters in Neighbours was going to "struggle with his sexuality" - until the writers/producers decided that it was too 'risque' for the family timeslot and scrapped it. How unfortunate - a male teen struggling with his sexuality might have actually reflected reality.

Oh well, I'm waiting for the day one of the soaps casts a disabled, Aboriginal homosexual with an adopted Lithuanian child and a transgendered, Jewish, refugee partner.

I might be waiting a while.

Burke's Back ... yard.

Don Burke will be back on the small screen with a segment on A Current Affair. Who can forget his impeccable fashion and that catchy theme tune?



I'm not sure what's more brilliant in that clip - Don's jumpers or the announcement of what's on TV later that night.

Interestingly, Don reckons that channel 9 has always wanted him back on air ... so why has he not been back on air?

Burke's Backyard ran from 1987 to 2004 on channel 9.

Gruen's Transfer of Offence

So the Gruen Transfer (tonight on ABC) was unable to show in full one of its segments where two different ad agencies try to sell the 'unsellable' - in this case, obesity.

They were unable to show it because the ABC didn't clear it for air due to offensive content. You can see it here - but be warned that it has very offensive content - and not for overweight people.

The discussion after the clip is really interesting (as are most Gruen Transfer convo's). What I find intriguing is that the defence for the clip is that 'shape hate' is the same as racism, homophobia and anti-semitism ... sorry?

I don't mean to be a harsh bitch but I hardly equate centuries of oppression and hate crimes to calling someone tubby.

Isn't putting obesity in the same category as being black, jewish or gay saying that obesity is a-ok? Because it really, really isn't. It is a very serious health hazard and is costing our health services and our environment more than we can imagine.

You could easily replace the 'shape-hate' part of the ad with 'junkie-hate'. Being a heroin addict is a serious health problem that is usually a result of psychological or socio-economic problems - much the same as obesity - so should heroin addicts be told "hey, you're alright", given a pat on the back and told to keep up the good work?

The whole idea is stupid in my opinion.

- And yes, I understand that some people have legitimate health issues that result in them being overweight.

Dave in the Life

Well the new SBS program Dave in the Life just aired and I quite liked it.

Not only did it tackle one of my favourite subjects: Shock Jocks (oh how I loathe them, oh how I seethe with contemptuous animosity) but it also featured the wonderful new premises of Melbourne's own Triple R.

I put this show in the same category as Lawrence Leung's Choose Your Own Adventure - let's call it the "Charming Lads Doing Stuff" category. I am more impressed with the narrative and production values of Dave than Lawrence - but Lawrence had a few more laugh out loud moments. I'm not sure if Dave is supposed to be funny as much as a story-teller. Either way, I didn't want to change the channel!

Jolly good show (- thought I might as well continue with the 'lad'-induced British pomp factor).

Indeed.
By the way - one reviewer compared the young Dave to Louis Theroux which is simply not fair. Louis Theroux is an accomplished documentary-maker with resources galore and years of experience. Give Dave a break!

Sitting Duck

Reporter Damian Smith tonight on Seven's 6pm news introduced a story about maternity payment with this gem;

"A mothers day present today not delivered by a stork - but by a swan. Wayne Swan."

Give me strength.

Flora (not the margarine) advert.

This ad is pretty cool - except for the voiceover at the end that sounds like a bored Queen Amidala (from Star Wars - the crap ones).



See what I mean?

Eurovision - next week!!!

SBS's coverage of Eurovision starts this Friday the 15th.

At 5:30pm there's Countdown to Eurovision
(from SBS) This special presentation will set the mood for Eurovision 2009, which starts on SBS tonight with Semi Final 1, and culminates with the final on Sunday evening. (From Russia, in Russian and English, English subtitles).

Then at 7:30pm the first semi-final!
(from SBS) This year, for the first time - SBS's coverage will be hosted by RocKwiz's Julia Zemiro and comedian Sam Pang, who will be heading to Moscow to take up their commentary positions. This is also the second year where two semi-finals will determine which 25 countries will battle it out for the crown of Eurovision 2009. (From the UK, in English).

Semi-final 2 is on 7:30pm Saturday and of course the Grand Finale is on the Sunday again at 7:30pm.

Can't wait!

MEDIA WATCH: 20 YEARS

The Media Watch 20 year anniversary special aired last night at 8:30pm on ABC.

It was simply brilliant - here's the link if you missed it.

Simpsons Lesbian Kiss

Well, whilst the Simpsons have moved into the HD era by finally introducing their new widescreen, HD opening credits it seems they are taking on another piece of gen y pop culture - the lesbian kiss.

In tonights new episode on channel 10 Marge will be seen locking lips with an attractive female friend - however it is actually only in Homer's imagination that the kiss occurs.

Interesting enough though - the channel 10 promo has been running the kiss as shown in the episode all week ... except tonight it had a big fat "censored" rectangle over it! Methinks the Christians are complaining again!!

They had a go when the episode aired in America earlier in the year too - here's an article.

The best bit is that the friends name is Lindsey - a pun on Lindsay Lohan methinks! Who else has made gen y lesbianism more popular?

Here are those opening credits incase you missed them;

Why am I still watching?!

So I happened to catch the end of 10 Years Younger in 10 Days tonight and ... ummm ... the plastic surgeon has severely inhibited the mans sight from his left eye - has no one else noticed this???

I don't know if you can tell from this small pic but basically his left eye is almost completely closed;



What the fuck? I'm sure they sign a waiver so they can't sue when stuff like this happens but really - is this ok? Are we entertained?

Chanel no. 5 and Audrey Tautou

The new Chanel ad was aired tonight on 10 featuring the gorgeous Audrey Tautou from Amelie. Here's a sneak peak;



and here's the making of;

The Making of Train de Nuit, starring Audrey Tautou for Chanel No. 5 from Kristen Seymour on Vimeo.

(The full version's not on the web yet).

Talkin' 'Bout Genius Micallef

Alright, alright, so someone who spent all of Saturday watching the Shaun Micallef (Pogram, Program and Programme) box set really can't be objective about whether or not the debut of Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation on Channel 10 tonight was a screaming success ... but you know what? I think it just might have been a screaming success!

The games were entertaining, the questions were good, the team members were amusing (Charlie Pickering is a revelation) but really the star of the show is, was and ever shall be, Shaun Micallef.

Verdict; something for everyone - I'll keep watching.

Firekites - Brilliant music clip

These kids are from NSW and their music is lovely - this clip was created by Lucinda Schreiber and Yanni Kronenberg - pure brilliance.

Firekites AUTUMN STORY - chalk animation from Yanni Kronenberg on Vimeo.

Logies Round-up!

Why am I the only person that I know who every year sits down with a bag of strawberries and cream (and a beverage of choice *wink*) to hang on every last moment of the mind-numbingly long Logies ceremony?? Is it just that gen-xers don't 'do' the Logies, or am I hanging around with elitist freaks?

Either way, here's the run-down (of which the length is relative to that of the Logies program, ie. unnecessarily long);

Ok so Gretel Killeen's nervousness was rather obvious - her intro was a bit shaky and the gunned-down-and-went-to-heaven bit was mental but I was hoping she would warm into the role - which wasn't meant to be. I don't know who wrote the gags but they were mostly left hanging - unfortunately no one compares to Shaun Micallef as Logies host - why do they bother hiring anyone else? and why do they make it even worse by getting him to present an award and brilliantly outshine everyone?

Rebecca Gibney is gorgeous and Julie Rafter would have to be one of the most beloved Australian characters of all time. Packed to the Rafters and it's cast members did really well - Rebecca Gibney took out the gold of course (she was the hot tip).

The little what's-his-name from Home & Away that won most popular actor made a true tosser of himself with the speech - someone should remind him that he works at Home & Away and does not report for Foreign Correspondent.

Why was Eddie McGuire on the Underbelly table? He was the only non-cast member there - unless he's planning on a cameo in season 3?

Speaking of Underbelly, how awkward that none of the footage could be shown - and how strange considering at least a few of the episodes were aired on channel 9 - could they not have used grabs from those? Could they not have just filmed some footage in a titty-bar? - no one would have known the difference.

Jennifer Hawkins may be pretty but she is certainly a self-obsessed, talentless hack and not a presenter's a-hole. Her dress was a fizzer - much like her personality *meeeeow*.

Gorgeous girls; Kat Stewart's dress was lovely, Natalie Bassingthwaite was radiant - hair, dress, jewelry - spot-on. The lovely Margot Robbie from Neighbours was a stunner in a fun little party dress and Jessica Marais from Packed to the Rafters is simply one of the most naturally beautiful creatures alive. I love love love Zoe Ventoura - I only saw glimpses of her but she's always gorgeous.

Talk about flogging your new show channel 9! The upcoming home renovation show Home Made had a special sneak-peak just before the red carpet special and at the end of the show and was being shoved down our throats at nearly every ad break ... however it did work - I'm sheepishly looking forward to the show.

Yay for Hollowmen and Working Dog, winners of the best comedy award - the ABC gets kudos for giving us yet another brilliant local comedy. Hoorah!

Special guests from America this year? Well to keep up the b-grade celeb tradition it was Bo and Hope from Days of Our Lives! I have to admit I was a bit exited when I saw them - I thought they had died several years ago and had been continuing in their roles 'weekend at Bernies' style.

Hot tip - don't get footballers to present awards. Being able to read at a grade 6 level is kind of important when there is a teleprompter - and closing your mouth when you're not talking is also good ettiquite.

Danni Minogue might have her detractors but she certainly had the best looking man-bag of the night - it seems both her and her sis have scored *sigh* very eligible former-bachelors.

Best moment; Myles Barlow reviewing the Logies - absolute brilliance.

Worst moments (besides Gretel); all the musical numbers. I love Jessica Mouboy, Annie Lennox and Natalie Bassingthwaite but Jessica wore a terrible outfit, Annie was out of tune all over the place and Natalie's choreography was just ... awkward?

I don't understand why the show goes for so long - we don't need to see every little thing - in fact, we didn't need to see any of Gretel or the terrible "promo department" breakaways - they were more dead on arrival than Rove's jokes.

Speaking of dead jokes - the crowd were so stiff - they didn't laugh at anything! Wil Anderson was pretty funny and he barely got a giggle!

So after 4 hours of mild-trauma I came out the other end relatively unscathed but slightly disoriented as I do every year ... now the countdown to next years "Television Night of Nights!"

New Aussie shows on SBS

Dave in the Life
Starts Monday, May 11 at 8:30pm
(from the SBS website) Twenty something Brisbanite Dave Zwolenski, whose wide eyed enthusiasm and curiosity saw him Embedded with Sheik Hilaly is back in a new series and determined to uncover anyone who has been criticised, marginalised or has been under public scrutiny in a bid to get under their skin and find out who they really are. In his own quirky way, Dave will discover what it's really like to go on the campaign trail as a politician, be a struggling pensioner, scream like a one-eyed "shock jock", live like a homeless person and a gang-member, and work as an impotence expert. In each episode Dave will submerse himself within the life of someone else. He'll live with them, eat with them, go to work with them and genuinely attempt to walk several kilometres in their shoes.

Food Investigators
Starts Wednesday, May 20 at 7:30pm
(from the SBS website) Aussies are fascinated by what we eat. This new 13-part series will investigate food; explore the myths, the hidden nasties, and just what is good, or not good, for us in our diet. Food Investigators is co-hosted by emergency room doctor, Dr Renee Lim: a woman on a mission. She sees the results of bad diets and alcohol abuse every day in the ER. So from domestic kitchens to high tech factories, from farmers' markets to supermarkets, she will be out and about finding exactly what Australians are eating. Renee will be assisted by food scientist Joe Avati and two top dieticians: Geraldine Georgeou and Hanan Saleh. The show will use cutting edge science to take us through food debates, health scares and uncover exactly how our food is made.

The Squiz
Starts Saturday, May 23rd at 8:30pm
A studio-based sports quiz show hosted by comedian Anh Do. Will have celebs, sports stars and comedians.

Samson & Delilah - the verdict

I caught a preview screening last night at Nova of the much-anticipated Warwick Thornton film Samson & Delilah and am having trouble trying to put into words my reaction. This film is so tragically beautiful - it's narrative flows effortlessly with barely a word spoken. The audience is drawn into the world of these two young companions and travels their journey for an hour and a half. The use of silence is sometimes overwhelming as you become aware of your chest heaving because you haven't taken a breath for several moments. It is beautiful. It is dark and sorrowful and sad and joyous and brilliant and timely.

A few observations;
The use of the names Samson and Delilah, the myth of the hero who's strength is taken when his hair is cut is very intelligent. Besides the cutting of hair being a part of the narrative, it reminds us that all humans are the same. Historians have found that in cultures across the earth from Europe to Africa to Asia there have been remarkable similarities in the creation myths of each ancient culture, and in the archetypal story telling of even the remotest communities of the world. We look different, we sound different - but humanity makes us the same.

The beauty of silence reiterates that language is not a barrier - something that white Australia might have trouble believing - after all, language is a good excuse to not engage with another culture. It is much easier to walk with the teenagers and to relate to them when they are stripped bare of anything but emotion.

But who am I really walking with in this film? I became drawn into the sorrow of Delilah and the frustration of Samson but ultimately, and something that was shoved in my face with a particularly poignant series of scenes in Alice Springs - I am the white middle-class person who really knows nothing of the struggles and third-world conditions that indigenous Australians suffer.

This film made me want to slap myself in the face. It made me feel guilty for whingeing about not having central heating. It made me feel pathetic for dropping out of my first attempt at uni because it was too hard. It made me feel stupid for not asking more questions about what is happening in my own country and for not realising that this is how our indigenous population - the people who thrived for thousands of years on this wide brown land before British settlement - now have to struggle. It made me ashamed that I have wasted opportunities that others have not been given because I was lazy.

Every Australian needs to see this film - it should be compulsory in schools, it should be given its own public holiday.

It is a heart-aching slap in the face and I want to scream it from the rooftops.

Please. See. This. Film.