Hey Hey the Verdict

Yes, I sat through the whole THREE hours of it. I did have aspirin and booze at the ready but surprisingly didn't use it - though it wasn't a completely pain-free experience.

Here's the run-down.

Unfortunately for everyone Darryl insisted on dancing AND singing and on telling his usual bad jokes. Besides that though - there were definitely some good moments, and there were some epic fails too. (If there was one person that didn't change channels during "Red Faces" I want to meet that person - and have them commited).

After Darryl's intro where he stated that Hey Hey really wanted to showcase young, new Australian talent - he introduced Jimmy Barnes. Twitter was instantly abuzz with people saying they were expecting John Farnham, and lo and behold, after the ad break Darryl announced that Farnsy would indeed be on the show later. Farnsy was, however, in the middle of a concert in Queensland so Darryl spent the last hour of the show stalling a live cross so that he could say hi to John between songs.

Speaking of Twitter, within 10 minutes of the show being on air #heyhey was a trending topic. By the second ad break it was number 1. Of course the second ad break was not far from the first, or the third, or the many to follow - I think the show might actually have fit into a one hour special were it not for the constant breaks.

Hey Hey tried to show that it had moved with the times by mentioning the infamous Facebook group that started this whole debacle and an email address for people to send their well wishes. In fact, someone was "unbeknownst to channel 9" illegally streaming the show on the internet which interestingly allowed Darryl to cross live to a woman in Michigan, USA - but it wasn't planned of course and nobody knew those naughty scamps would be streaming *wink wink*.

The show stuck to tradition by having b-grade celebs for the segments - the puffin-muffin girl (from the iSelect health insurance ads) was one third of the panel for "Celebrity Head" and pop-singer Cassie Davis (Cassie who? I hear you say) was a judge on Red Faces.

The hot competition for the night, Masterchef, had been mentioned three times in the first half hour - it was as if they were daring people to switch over. Even worse, there was a skit by Russell Gilbert called "Disaster Chef" that was painfully unfunny. In fact, Russell was as bad as he ever was - with his toilet humour and outdated jokes, his gags went down like a kebab-caravan-6am-special.

Particularly awkward moments (besides every second Russell Gilbert was on screen)? The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics (a la Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole in the "Unforgettable" video clip). It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Livinia Nixon should stick to weather. She's a lovely girl but has nothing interesting to say - and she did encourage Darryl to dance - which I'm pretty sure is a chargeable offence.

There had to be a major fashion faux pa and that award goes to Cassie Davis and the badly-ripped-jeans. It seems she was channelling a fashion tragedy from the last time Hey Hey was on tv.

Highlights? There were a few. John Farnham singing "Freedom" - I know, it's horribly daggy of me but I just love him, I can't help it. I've always loved him. I've got "Whispering Jack" on vinyl okay? There, I said it. Judge me as you will.

Molly's Melodrama was definitely a highlight. Molly is a national treasure in my opinion and watching him bluff his way through his segment it was as if he'd never left the studio. John Blackman is as quick-witted as ever and he and Molly bounced off each other well. In fact, Molly was all over tv tonight - also starring on the panel of ABC music quiz show Spicks and Specks at 8:30pm.

Speaking of national treasures, Brian Nankervis as beat poet Raymond J. Bartholomew was simply brilliant (currently on Rockwiz on SBS). It was the first laugh-out-loud moment of the evening for me - how does Brian Nankervis not have his own tv show?

Perhaps because I had such low expectations, I could say that all in all it was a pleasant few hours of nostalgia - but it was really as if the show had never been off the air. To be honest, I don't care if they bring it back as a weekly show, because it can only mean that channel 9 will program less Two and a Half Men.

Chas Licciardello from The Chaser said it best on Twitter;

Big Night on the Box

Well the big day has arrived - there are some serious decisions to be made tonight with several shows competing for your attention on free to air tv.

First of all, there is the much publicized, much gossiped about, much anticipated Hey Hey it's Saturday The Reunion, running a whopping two and a half hours from 7:30pm on channel 9.

Channel 10 has the debut of the special celebrity version of it's powerhouse Masterchef, from 7:30pm.

Over on the national broadcaster at 9pm is the much-anticipated (for all the right reasons), Hungry Beast - Andrew Denton's production company Zapruder's Other Films did a call out earlier in the year for young media talent to create a current affairs type show with a difference - and this is the result.

Channel 7 have gone with World's Strictest Parents and City Homicide - which is either conceding defeat or giving it their best - who can really tell?

The real item-of-interest for me is the Hey Hey special. I truly want it to be something special but fear that it may be memorable for all the wrong reasons. When discussing tonight's line-up with a friend I insisted that she watch at least part of the Hey Hey special - because it's history either way - whether it's so bad it gets taken off air half way through, or it's so good that it heralds a new boost in light entertainment and local funding for Australian tv.

Clearly everyone is expecting the former rather than the latter - but channel 9 will certainly have their fingers crossed.

Coming to a Television Near You

Footballers Review

The grand final episode of the AFL Footy Show was on channel 9 tonight which included the footballer review - you know, the part where the boys dance around to various songs with a bunch of scantily clad gals making pelvic thrusting motions and simulating giving the boys blow-jobs?

First of all - I don't understand this at ALL. Sam Newman did a horrifying rendition of Singin' in the Rain, including out of sync miming and a possible fractured hip (-there goes the only part of his body that was still natural!) But the most disturbing part of the show was Shane Crawford dressed as an extra from Rocky Horror doing the Pink number So What? - except that he must have got his starlets mixed up because he was clearly channeling Lady Ga Ga by forgetting to wear pants. That's right - all he was wearing was a leather g-string ... and did I mention he was doing acrobatics whilst hanging from the ceiling? The looks of shock and awe on the faces of the audience made it quite clear that Crawford had outdone himself this year.

A few observations;
(1) I think the background dancers are all girls because the boys don't want to look 'gay'. They shouldn't worry - if they were gay they might actually have some style and/or talent.
(2) The background dancers are crap - is this an attempt to make the footballers look better? Or is this because they are only trained in pole-dancing and not freestyle?
(3) It seems there were less players involved this year - perhaps they were smart enough to watch the tapes from last year ... sober.

Every year I watch this abomonation thinking it couldn't possibly be worse than the year before but they just keep outdoing themselves. It's a not-to-be-missed, stick-a-fork-in-your-eye, visual atrocity of mass proportions. You just can't look away.

* I should also point out that my last three posts have been related to AFL - I apologise and it won't happen again.

Fev's Big Night Out

Carlton footballer Brendan Fevola has been suspended from channel 9's The Footy Show grand final special and fined $10,000 by the AFL after his 'drunken antics' at the Brownlow Medal count on Monday.

The Herald Sun gave a blow by blow account of his entire night here.

I think The Age columnist and Triple J presenter Marieke Hardy might have hit the nail on the head though with this Twitter update;
As Media Watch reported on Monday night, Sam Newman made racial slurs on The Footy Show (September 17th), first against a Malaysian man, and later, tennis star Serena Williams.

Host, Jonathan Holmes stated;

In a week when another ugly attack on Indian students has again put the international spotlight on racism in Australia, surely we can do without garbage like that?

I'm not saying that being a rude, drunken idiot is acceptable behavior but I wonder if Newman will be suspended from the grand final special?

The Blue Carpet

I wasn't going to bother posting anything about the obvious 'worst-dressed-wag' on the Brownlow Blue Carpet last night - clearly it was this little number:
The woman in question is Brynne Gordon, who accompanied her partner, Geoffrey Edelsten - who is clearly dating her for her ... er, personalities?

You see, I figured all this was pretty obvious and that nothing needed to be said about it - until I heard the lil' lady in question on the news tonight advise that she was ... (prepare to spit out your tea) ... TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD.

Sorry? Did I hear right? I think someone is telling fibs to her sugar-daddy so he doesn't go back to the playboy mansion to buy a younger version. Not only has she had more plastic surgery (-on her face too) than any 26-year-old would have had time for, but if she didn't have those oversized "personalities" on her chest one might have mistaken her for a cast member of Priscilla.

Bit catty? You're right, but the skank-o-meter was so low on the whole with the Brownlow Broads this year that this abomonation stuck out like a sore thumb. Where's a bedazzled g-string when you need one?

Welcome back John

Look, to be honest, I don't care who he's offending or what he's doing, there is something so darn attractive about a skinny Jewish boy with self-esteem problems poking fun at organised religion.

For the record, I'm down with that.

So here's a look at John Safran's next project for ABC:

It starts on Wednesday, October 21st.