Unless you've been living in a cave you will have heard about the abomination that is the Goeffrey Edelsten and Brynne Gordon wedding. Supposedly it was the "social event of the year" for Melbourne - suggesting that the rest of the year must have been filled entirely with letter openings and high-school formals.
The Herald Sun has a front page pic above the banner today and the write-up made page 5. The Age put some pics on the back page in the Melbourne Life section and the commercial news programs are obviously having a field day with it.
So who the hell cares if some old gheezer with loads of cash marries his "work in progress" little lady in a lavish affair at the Crown casino? Few people had even heard of Mr Edelsten before the Brownlow ceremony this year, and those that had wished they could forget. And no one would ever have heard of Brynne Gordon if she hadn't stumbled across a horny old man and decided that sleeping with him was worth the millions of dollars he'd leave to her when he kicked the bucket in the not-too-distant-future.
The Herald Sun has a front page pic above the banner today and the write-up made page 5. The Age put some pics on the back page in the Melbourne Life section and the commercial news programs are obviously having a field day with it.
So who the hell cares if some old gheezer with loads of cash marries his "work in progress" little lady in a lavish affair at the Crown casino? Few people had even heard of Mr Edelsten before the Brownlow ceremony this year, and those that had wished they could forget. And no one would ever have heard of Brynne Gordon if she hadn't stumbled across a horny old man and decided that sleeping with him was worth the millions of dollars he'd leave to her when he kicked the bucket in the not-too-distant-future.
Am I being nasty? Oh, they're getting their guests to give money to charity in lieu of gifts you say? Well going by the B-grade celeb guest list I'm not sure they'll be making anywhere near the 3 million it cost them to put on the bourgeois affair. I doubt that ex-Big-Brother-contestants and Neighbours stars will be emptying their pockets for charity - the donation basket was probably filled with autographed, glossy 8x10s rather than $100 bills.
When events like this become news I'm reminded of something a lecturer told me once; If all of the world were annihilated and just one newspaper/news program was recovered by aliens, what would they think of us as a human race?
An even more scary thought occured to me after seeing the new "disaster film to end all disaster films" 2010 - if you haven't seen it, there are ships that have been built to survive the end of the world and a ticket on the ship costs 1 billion dollars. It's scary because it's people like Mr and Mrs Edelsten that would be boarding that Contiki World-End Tour and *shudder* re-populating the world.
You want more evidence that the Edelsten couple should de-throne Bec and Lleyton Hewitt as King and Queen of the Bogans on the brilliant Things Bogans Like blog? Geoff is planning on opening a luxury "nip/tuck clinic" in ... wait for it ... Caroline Springs.
There, I said it. Bogans. Grade-A, sell-their-mother-for-a-bundy-and-coke Bogans. Should Bogans not celebrate their nuptuals in any way they please? I hear you ask. Well, yes, I suppose they can - but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AND IT ISN'T NEWS.
Enough. Now what's all this about a shit-fight in the Liberal Party and Tony Abbott wearing rocket-poppers?
(My apologies in advance for that last link - do not open if you have a weak stomach.)
Well...a few things.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, no...I wasn't aware of the wedding. I don't live under a rock. I live in another country!! Most people in the world, would be blissfully unaware of the nuptials between Geoffrey and his plastic bird.
Secondly, I have never heard of the woman he married...BUT...Geoffrey is pretty well known. He used to own the Sydney Swans during their plastic glam period. He flew into games in a pink helicopter and had a bright pink sports car. His wife back then was quite young and fetching.
Thirdly (I am enjoying this counting thing...like a reverse Bert Newton), I see Dr G as more of your Bogan Elder statesman. He's kind of like the Rolling Stones, and Bec and Lil are Wolfmother. If you know what I mean?
2012 was dire wasn't it? Utter rubbish! You should put a spoiler alert above though...mentioning the ships!!! Having said that, can you spoil the plot of a movie that doesn't have one? probably not.
lastly....you look well.
Ha ha! Love the counting. You're not quite Bert - and unfortunately any chance you had of being his replacement has been stolen by Jules Lund. (I'd of course much prefer you).
ReplyDeleteNo-one's heard of Edelsten for more than a decade though - I was under the impression that he might have been killed in an underworld shoot-out or some such fun.
I must say I was on some rather serious painkillers when I saw 2010 and actually really enjoyed it. Of course, it was more as a laugh-out-loud "My GOD this dialogue is bad" kind of way. I really just enjoyed seeing stuff explode - I'm a sucker for a good "smash".
Mind you, I did see it at Melb. Central on the !!!EXTREME SCREEN!!! so it was an assault on the senses that couldn't be ignored.
I do look well, don't I? The years are certainly being kind to my profile pic.
I laughed as well...especially when they announced that the Italian President wasn't going to get on a ship...as if Berlusconi would stay!!! He'd be on a gold plated ship, made from the bones of every other Italian if he had too!!!
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