Hawko the "Everywoman" my Fat Ass

Jennifer Hawkins nude on the cover of Marie Claire - it's not exactly shocking is it? I mean, she's a lingerie model which means she's pretty much naked most of the time she's in the spotlight. The cover doesn't show her with her legs wide open or even her nipples exposed - yet it has created as much heated discussion it might as well have.

The issue is this; Hawkins is being applauded for appearing "untouched" on the cover. There has supposedly been no photo-shopping or digital manipulation of the image. Well, well, well; golf-claps all round. How very daring for a woman who, besides having a fabulous figure and being only 26 years old makes a career out of strutting the cat-walk in barely-there lingerie.

Here's a news-flash; she is PAID to keep her figure in brilliant condition. It is her JOB to look amazing and to have a trim and terrific body. So HOW exactly does she represent the "average woman"? If I didn't have to work 50 hours a week and was paid squillions of dollars to be glamorous I might go to the gym more than once a year and look as awesome as her too*.

How exactly is this image supposed to promote good body-image in "normal" women? It makes me want to stick my fingers down my throat and buy a bottle of peroxide.

Good on Marie Claire for getting all this free publicity for a shot that might as well have been photo-shopped; as if anyone would have noticed had it not been pointed out. Oh, dimples on her thigh you say? Uneven skin-tone?! Call the nip/tuck team stat!

On channel 9's Today show this morning radio host Bianca Dye spoke about baring all for Madison magazine in November. She pointed out the glaringly obvious that Hawkins is hardly a "normal" girl. The irony is that the ninemsn.com.au article had a link to a Zoo Weekly story about photo-shopping that referred to un photo-shopped pics of celebs as causing "vomit at the back of your throat". Way to prove a point that "real" women is the way of the future ... classy as usual.

The Madison issue actually had average sized women in the buff and was actually trying to make a point about body image. But it didn't have Jeniffer Hawkins nude on its cover - so actually went unnoticed.

The editor of Marie Claire, Jackie Frank, has blamed Australian women's negative body-image on the government. Well of course! Damn those attractive back-benchers and their enviable lighting and make-up at parliament question time! It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the unrealistic images that are thrust upon us at every supermarket check-out line and on every billboard on every corner. 

Who would have thought a magazine like Marie Claire, dependent on advertising and profit, would be so devious in its sales tactics? *insert sarcasm here*.

* I say "might" because going to the gym probably won't make me 6 foot tall or white.

Farcical Today Show "News"

You can always count of Richard Wilkins to be a complete ignoramus in almost any circumstance. With the breaking news of Michael Jackson's death this morning he was also reporting the death of actor Jeff Goldblum - which wasn't true. It was an internet hoax that had actually gone round the traps in 1999 (the first time) when a rumour started about Goldblum having an accident whilst filming in New Zealand. Wilkinson was still reporting his death 30 minutes later - even though there was nothing about Goldblum on New Zealand Herald site nzherald.co.nz.

Then there was this (from Crikey twitter feed);
There was also the particularly classy moment where Richard pulled out the folded photo of he and Michael Jackson. The excuse was that Lisa had wanted to know how tall Michael was. There was a particularly awkward few moments where Wilkins was bumbling about comparative heights; "I'm six foot three with hair and heels ... so that should give you an idea" - priceless self-indulgence.
Of course there was also the faux 'gaining composure' moment where Wilkins cleared his throat and respectfully blinked for a moment longer than usual.

I'm sure we can look forward to a whole lot of wonderful reporting of MJ's death over the next few weeks *insert sarcasm here* - there's always the rush for an 'Aussie connection' - news.com.au was asking readers this morning "Did you meet Michael?" and had a story about an Australian family who were friends with him.

Let the chaos begin.

CHANNEL NINE movers and shakers

Word has it that Tracy Grimshaw will be moving on up to the channel 9 elite club that is 60 Minutes after her supposed 'hard hitting' interview with Matthew Johns. I found it interesting that Nicole Brady in the Green Guide today lauded Grimshaw and suggested that she single-handedly gave the channel 9 news and current affairs division "a much needed shot in the arm".

She may have asked the 'tough' questions with Johns but as an interviewer Grimshaw's holier-than-though attitude and botox-affected emotionless face make it very difficult for her to be taken seriously in any circumstance.

And really, isn't the sign of a good interview ultimately getting the interviewee to reveal something unexpected of themselves? John's performance last week could be likened to the infamous Wayne Carey interview on Denton - in that both Johns and Carey said nothing more than what their advisors had recommended they say and displayed just the right amount of crocodile tears and 'respectful regret'.

Also, Karl Stephanovic, after his hung-over antics on Today, will supposedly be hosting A Current Affair. Rather than injuring his career the boozy post-logies rants have given him a leg-up.

The Herald Sun website suggests that Nine execs aren't happy with the imbalance of power due to Lisa Wilkinson being the dominant character of the two - god forbid that a woman have the spotlight on a supposed-news program! They are pitting Karl against Today Tonight host Matthew White (the Herald Sun called it "Bloke on Bloke" but I doubt that would get clearance for 7pm).

So poor Lisa is looking to get a 'serious older man' as her co-host ... how old's Eddie McGuire these days?