Mr and Mrs Edelsten

Unless you've been living in a cave you will have heard about the abomination that is the Goeffrey Edelsten and Brynne Gordon wedding. Supposedly it was the "social event of the year" for Melbourne - suggesting that the rest of the year must have been filled entirely with letter openings and high-school formals.

The Herald Sun has a front page pic above the banner today and the write-up made page 5. The Age put some pics on the back page in the Melbourne Life section and the commercial news programs are obviously having a field day with it.

So who the hell cares if some old gheezer with loads of cash marries his "work in progress" little lady in a lavish affair at the Crown casino? Few people had even heard of Mr Edelsten before the Brownlow ceremony this year, and those that had wished they could forget. And no one would ever have heard of Brynne Gordon if she hadn't stumbled across a horny old man and decided that sleeping with him was worth the millions of dollars he'd leave to her when he kicked the bucket in the not-too-distant-future.

Am I being nasty? Oh, they're getting their guests to give money to charity in lieu of gifts you say? Well going by the B-grade celeb guest list I'm not sure they'll be making anywhere near the 3 million it cost them to put on the bourgeois affair. I doubt that ex-Big-Brother-contestants and Neighbours stars will be emptying their pockets for charity - the donation basket was probably filled with autographed, glossy 8x10s rather than $100 bills.

When events like this become news I'm reminded of something a lecturer told me once; If all of the world were annihilated and just one newspaper/news program was recovered by aliens, what would they think of us as a human race?

An even more scary thought occured to me after seeing the new "disaster film to end all disaster films" 2010 - if you haven't seen it, there are ships that have been built to survive the end of the world and a ticket on the ship costs 1 billion dollars. It's scary because it's people like Mr and Mrs Edelsten that would be boarding that Contiki World-End Tour and *shudder* re-populating the world.

You want more evidence that the Edelsten couple should de-throne Bec and Lleyton Hewitt as King and Queen of the Bogans on the brilliant Things Bogans Like blog? Geoff is planning on opening a luxury "nip/tuck clinic" in ... wait for it ... Caroline Springs.

There, I said it. Bogans. Grade-A, sell-their-mother-for-a-bundy-and-coke Bogans. Should Bogans not celebrate their nuptuals in any way they please? I hear you ask. Well, yes, I suppose they can - but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AND IT ISN'T NEWS.

Enough. Now what's all this about a shit-fight in the Liberal Party and Tony Abbott wearing rocket-poppers?

(My apologies in advance for that last link - do not open if you have a weak stomach.)

Idle Idol

So the ratings are in and the first episode of Australian Idol last night was beaten by Domestic Blitz (channel 9) and Dancing with the Stars (channel 7). It was only pipped at the post by DWS but it was still down from last years launch episode.

So have the public spoken? Are the ratings down purely because of Kyle Sandilands? Or is Australia just sick of over-edited, we-already-know-the-winner, let's-just-make-fun-of-people reality television? Will Australian Idol go the way of Big Brother? I guess we'll see in a few weeks when Sandilands is no longer a feature of the show.

Speaking of Kyle, he really showed what a great bloke he was on last nights episode by (a) leering at the young girls, (b) asking a contestant about their sex life - they were over 14 so that's ok, right? and (c) asking a lovely man who seemed to have an intellectual disability, "so how many sandwiches short are you?". I might say that I was shocked, but I really wasn't.

Idol last night was generally underwhelming. I don't know what's wrong with me but I just don't get any joy out of asshole producers making fun of people ... sure I was yelling at the TV "He is sooooooo shit!" - but that was mainly at the ones they actually let through to Sydney. There was one clearly tone-deaf man who sang Over the Rainbow who was interviewed before going in and was basically set up to look like an idiot. As was the overweight woman who, we were told, has her "fiance" (said in a condescending manner as though someone so unattractive could hardly have a fiance) to comfort her in her failure.

The web entries were torn to shreds - one of them was actually pretty good but was nevertheless ridiculed with Funniest Home Video style commentary.

I know, I know - the contestants are to blame - they put themselves out there to be ridiculed after all. But some are very young, some are very naive and some are very stupid. When did we become a society that loves watching people being taunted so cruelly? Their hopes dashed? their dreams crushed? I know that there are stupid people out there - I don't need to see them being made fun of on what is supposed to be family viewing.

Sandilands is only one part of the program that is offensive.

Of course I'll keep watching, because my sensibilities aren't so delicate *wink*.

2Day FM - what price?

The Kyle and Jackie O breakfast show this morning hooked a 14-year-old girl up to a lie detector test and let her mother ask her questions about school, drugs and sex. The girl admitted on air (in some of the most excruciating radio ever heard) that she had been raped at the age of 12. Whilst Kyle's idiotic response was "Right ... And is that the only experience you have had?", Jackie O did try to save face with the offer of counseling and by quickly pulling the plug on the segment.

The segment can be heard here (without names).

Commercial radio is well known for its 'do anything, try anything' approach to win the ratings - Judith Lucy wrote an excellent article a few years ago for The Age about her short stint on Today FM in Sydney and the ludicrous ideas thrown around for competitions and segments;

The idea was 'celebrity sperm' and the concept was that you would get a celebrity to donate their sperm (the example they used was Guy Sebastian, because we all know how much self-proclaimed virgins like chucking their semen around), and the woman who won the competition would get to impregnate herself. I am not making this up.

The thing is, this child is not being properly cared for by her parent/guardian. Her mother stated on air that the girl had not received counseling and that the mother herself only became aware of the 'incident' a few months ago - this also insinuates that the alleged rape had not been reported and that there has so far been no follow up.

What kind of mother signs a disclaimer to hook her daughter up to a lie detector and talk about sex and drugs on the radio? What kind of radio station pays money - and surely there was money involved - to a woman of clearly low intelligence who has an obvious dysfunctional relationship with her child to basically fight with her daughter on air?

It all comes down to the issue of popular culture and the lower classes. The only people (besides self-obsessed egomaniacs) willing to lose their dignity on television or radio are low income earners or people who can't fully understand the consequences of their actions. Look at Big Brother - the house was basically full of bogans and half-wits, the people we see on Today Tonight and A Current Affair are always from low socio-economic areas - and therefore more willing to 'sell their story' for a quick buck.

So here we have a bogan mother selling her 14-year-old daughter to a commercial station to be humiliated on the airwaves. Do we expect much more?

The station (including Kyle and Jackie O) is at fault - under no circumstances should a minor have been put on air to talk about participating in illegal behaviour (drugs and underage drinking/sex). The mother is a complete f#cking idiot - but ultimately the fault lies with the station who should know better.

On the issue of the alleged rape and the child not being properly cared for - DOCS can figure that one out.


* Thanks to Jess McGuire at Defamer for a great post about the incident.