Hey Hey, Welcome Back to the Future

Well, well, well. Hey Hey it's Saturday has been green-lighted for 20 "special" episodes (otherwise known as a series) on channel 9 next year. Besides the fact that it's to air on a Wednesday, making the title a little beyond a joke, it looks like Molly Meldrum won't be involved due to his contractual obligations to channel 7 and Foxtel. Molly was the clear, and almost only, highlight of the two specials aired this year. Otherwise it was a series of awkward 'dad jokes' and ditzy girls in too-short-skirts giggling maniacally at Darryl's idiotic jests.

Seriously though, why are we moving backward when there is so much young talent fighting for a head-shot on Australian tv? Rove hung up his gloves recently (in some circles to much applause) but at least Rove Live gave a leg-up to talented people like Ryan Shelton and, love them or hate them, Hamish and Andy.

The Hamish and Andy current affairs spoof "Real Stories" (aired on channel 10 in 2006) was really very funny and didn't get nearly as much kudos as it should have.  Meanwhile we have dinosaurs like Darryl Somers making fart-jokes and vomit-in-your-mouth sexual innuendos rating through the roof.

I don't want to see Somers and Co (who, for the record, were rarely funny the first time round) return with more of the same old crap. The specials were an interesting lesson in nostalgia - with the realisation that (a) you can't go back and (b) what you thought was funny when you were twelve is really, really not very funny.

Want mature people on tv? How about people like Brian Nankervis, Andrew Denton, George Negus, Shaun Micallef? I want to see more of them (- yes, I want to see more of Shaun Micallef and yes, I understand that he currently hosts a show on channel 10 and yes, I have seen him recently feature in every other variety/game-show program on channel 10, and yes, I did spend most of Saturday watching The Micallef P(r)ogramme on DVD). And for a fresh young spin on entertainment, we have plenty of talent in John Safran, Julia Zemiro, the Chaser Boys, Ryan Shelton and Lawrence Leung - creating quality entertainment and fresh ideas.

Hungry Beast on the ABC might have been hit and miss but at least it was something a bit different. The Chaser's War on Everything was controversial - but isn't that a good thing? - don't we want our television to challenge us? To force us to take sides and think about things of importance - rather than to sit drooling with a packet of CC's in front of the plasma laughing at yet another dick-joke from a head on a stick?

I'm dissapointed that after the "black-face incident" channel 9 were still willing to give Hey Hey another go, yet new projects with actual potential don't get a second look. Good luck to Australia circa 2020 as Somers and the gang continue their misogynist, racist, archaic crap and assist in teaching another generation of kids that 'different' is bad and that women are decorative fashion accessories. Maybe they'll have Tony Abbott as a special guest.

Hey Hey the Verdict

Yes, I sat through the whole THREE hours of it. I did have aspirin and booze at the ready but surprisingly didn't use it - though it wasn't a completely pain-free experience.

Here's the run-down.

Unfortunately for everyone Darryl insisted on dancing AND singing and on telling his usual bad jokes. Besides that though - there were definitely some good moments, and there were some epic fails too. (If there was one person that didn't change channels during "Red Faces" I want to meet that person - and have them commited).

After Darryl's intro where he stated that Hey Hey really wanted to showcase young, new Australian talent - he introduced Jimmy Barnes. Twitter was instantly abuzz with people saying they were expecting John Farnham, and lo and behold, after the ad break Darryl announced that Farnsy would indeed be on the show later. Farnsy was, however, in the middle of a concert in Queensland so Darryl spent the last hour of the show stalling a live cross so that he could say hi to John between songs.

Speaking of Twitter, within 10 minutes of the show being on air #heyhey was a trending topic. By the second ad break it was number 1. Of course the second ad break was not far from the first, or the third, or the many to follow - I think the show might actually have fit into a one hour special were it not for the constant breaks.

Hey Hey tried to show that it had moved with the times by mentioning the infamous Facebook group that started this whole debacle and an email address for people to send their well wishes. In fact, someone was "unbeknownst to channel 9" illegally streaming the show on the internet which interestingly allowed Darryl to cross live to a woman in Michigan, USA - but it wasn't planned of course and nobody knew those naughty scamps would be streaming *wink wink*.

The show stuck to tradition by having b-grade celebs for the segments - the puffin-muffin girl (from the iSelect health insurance ads) was one third of the panel for "Celebrity Head" and pop-singer Cassie Davis (Cassie who? I hear you say) was a judge on Red Faces.

The hot competition for the night, Masterchef, had been mentioned three times in the first half hour - it was as if they were daring people to switch over. Even worse, there was a skit by Russell Gilbert called "Disaster Chef" that was painfully unfunny. In fact, Russell was as bad as he ever was - with his toilet humour and outdated jokes, his gags went down like a kebab-caravan-6am-special.

Particularly awkward moments (besides every second Russell Gilbert was on screen)? The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics (a la Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole in the "Unforgettable" video clip). It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Livinia Nixon should stick to weather. She's a lovely girl but has nothing interesting to say - and she did encourage Darryl to dance - which I'm pretty sure is a chargeable offence.

There had to be a major fashion faux pa and that award goes to Cassie Davis and the badly-ripped-jeans. It seems she was channelling a fashion tragedy from the last time Hey Hey was on tv.

Highlights? There were a few. John Farnham singing "Freedom" - I know, it's horribly daggy of me but I just love him, I can't help it. I've always loved him. I've got "Whispering Jack" on vinyl okay? There, I said it. Judge me as you will.

Molly's Melodrama was definitely a highlight. Molly is a national treasure in my opinion and watching him bluff his way through his segment it was as if he'd never left the studio. John Blackman is as quick-witted as ever and he and Molly bounced off each other well. In fact, Molly was all over tv tonight - also starring on the panel of ABC music quiz show Spicks and Specks at 8:30pm.

Speaking of national treasures, Brian Nankervis as beat poet Raymond J. Bartholomew was simply brilliant (currently on Rockwiz on SBS). It was the first laugh-out-loud moment of the evening for me - how does Brian Nankervis not have his own tv show?

Perhaps because I had such low expectations, I could say that all in all it was a pleasant few hours of nostalgia - but it was really as if the show had never been off the air. To be honest, I don't care if they bring it back as a weekly show, because it can only mean that channel 9 will program less Two and a Half Men.

Chas Licciardello from The Chaser said it best on Twitter;