Build a Bridge: Logie Tweet-gate

The Logies on Sunday was the usual mess of bad jokes, pretty frocks, undeserving awards and golden moments (thank you Shaun Micallef). I never expect much from the event - if I don't fall asleep it's been a good show and if I'm not hiding behind the couch cringing at the overly-scripted "casual chatter" between presenters, even better.

But seemingly there are people out there that take the whole thing a little too seriously - besides the cast of Home & Away, who's only chance to prove to their parents that they indeed have 'made it' is to take home a "most popular male/female talent" award. There are viewers that are obviously a little too sensitive about their favourite soap/reality stars.

The Herald Sun today has shamed Melbourne comedian Catherine Deveny, calling her Logie tweets acid-tongued and offensive. Really? I thought they were hilarious. In fact, thanks to Deveny, Wil Anderson (who also got a spray from news ltd.) and a few others, the Logie broadcast was made almost bearable. 

What better topic for Australian comedians than our laughable rabble of 'celebrities' on their night of nights? John Mayer spends half his life saying stupid shit - we can't be shocked when he gets bagged for it. And seriously, Bindi Irwin? She's not so much a child as a social construction - there's nothing child-like about her, but for her appearance. In any case, comedy's hit and miss, what I find funny, others might not - but let me have my fun please - and I'll let you keep watching Hey Hey it's Saturday.

Meanwhile, the idiotic tweets of people wondering who KD Lang was and making snide remarks about the fact that she performed barefoot were far more offensive - here's the trick kids, when you actually have talent you don't need the pomp and circumstance of the Gabriela Cilmi number - you can just sing.

"Entertainment Reporter" Pete Timbs on The Circle this morning had a go at both Wil Anderson and Catherine Deveny. He said Wil was a "so-called" comedian (among other things) and was so disgusted by Deveny that he couldn't even talk about her tweets - though he did put a lovely picture of her on screen - nice one Dev. Besides the fact that Pete Timbs was once on a reality tv show generally populated by bogans and boof-heads, what exactly are his credentials to comment on media and/or celebrities? Ohhh, he works for TV Week you say? Well, that clears it up then.

Besides the Twitter storm-in-a-teacup the program wasn't all bad. Bert did a safe performance, KD Lang was amazing, Shaun Micallef shone every time he stepped on stage and tributes to Don Lane and Brian Naylor were respectful (though I'm not sure of Lane Jr. singing at every Australian media event ... we can stop that now, yes?)

Claudia Karvan looked stunning in classic lines - the diamond bracelet, the black gloves, the oh so revealing neckline, the wave in her hair. Perfection. Again, I'm not sure why the top story on news.com.au yesterday was that her nipple was slightly exposed when she leaned forward on the red carpet - it was the least of the 'reveal' issues of the night - I'm pretty sure you could see what Brynne Gordon ate for breakfast whether she was leaning forward or not.

Jessica Marais was gorgeous as usual, as was Margot Robbie. Ruby Rose looked like a contestant on Bret Michael's Rock of Love (and I don't mean that in a good way), though I loved her silver hair.

Overall it would have been a very dull night without Twitter - so I salute Wil, Catherine and the like and look forward to the next otherwise snore-fest event being made bearable by the T-wit-ter pros.

EDIT: Catherine Deveny's been fired from The Age ... what a load of crap. So utterly disappointing. 

 

White Room Fail

Unsurprisingly channel 7 has axed it's celebrity game-show The White Room after just two episodes (from Mumbrella).

The show featured two teams of celebrities answering questions about television - sounds like fun right? It certainly had the 'nostalgia' element that was so popular last year where we saw the return of Hey Hey it's Saturday and specials like The Best of the Paul Hogan Show. 

But The White Room just didn't rate.

I would suggest it's because the show was a plain white room filled with varying degrees of celebrity talking about shows of days gone by that were actually wonderful - who wants to watch another cheaply made game-show when reminded of shows like Always Greener and Mother and Son?

Another failed reality/quiz show just brings attention to the fact that the commercial stations put little or no funding into creating quality Australian drama and comedy. It's a lot cheaper to put a few cameras in an airport, on a beach, or in a veterinarian clinic to follow people leading their everyday lives and sell it as "drama" than to hire actual talent to make something new and creative. 

The success of Packed to the Rafters proved that there was a gaping hole in the commercial schedules. Perhaps Nine, Seven and Ten could use the revenue boost from their cut licence fees to create some fresh new drama ...

One can dream.

Hey Hey, Welcome Back to the Future

Well, well, well. Hey Hey it's Saturday has been green-lighted for 20 "special" episodes (otherwise known as a series) on channel 9 next year. Besides the fact that it's to air on a Wednesday, making the title a little beyond a joke, it looks like Molly Meldrum won't be involved due to his contractual obligations to channel 7 and Foxtel. Molly was the clear, and almost only, highlight of the two specials aired this year. Otherwise it was a series of awkward 'dad jokes' and ditzy girls in too-short-skirts giggling maniacally at Darryl's idiotic jests.

Seriously though, why are we moving backward when there is so much young talent fighting for a head-shot on Australian tv? Rove hung up his gloves recently (in some circles to much applause) but at least Rove Live gave a leg-up to talented people like Ryan Shelton and, love them or hate them, Hamish and Andy.

The Hamish and Andy current affairs spoof "Real Stories" (aired on channel 10 in 2006) was really very funny and didn't get nearly as much kudos as it should have.  Meanwhile we have dinosaurs like Darryl Somers making fart-jokes and vomit-in-your-mouth sexual innuendos rating through the roof.

I don't want to see Somers and Co (who, for the record, were rarely funny the first time round) return with more of the same old crap. The specials were an interesting lesson in nostalgia - with the realisation that (a) you can't go back and (b) what you thought was funny when you were twelve is really, really not very funny.

Want mature people on tv? How about people like Brian Nankervis, Andrew Denton, George Negus, Shaun Micallef? I want to see more of them (- yes, I want to see more of Shaun Micallef and yes, I understand that he currently hosts a show on channel 10 and yes, I have seen him recently feature in every other variety/game-show program on channel 10, and yes, I did spend most of Saturday watching The Micallef P(r)ogramme on DVD). And for a fresh young spin on entertainment, we have plenty of talent in John Safran, Julia Zemiro, the Chaser Boys, Ryan Shelton and Lawrence Leung - creating quality entertainment and fresh ideas.

Hungry Beast on the ABC might have been hit and miss but at least it was something a bit different. The Chaser's War on Everything was controversial - but isn't that a good thing? - don't we want our television to challenge us? To force us to take sides and think about things of importance - rather than to sit drooling with a packet of CC's in front of the plasma laughing at yet another dick-joke from a head on a stick?

I'm dissapointed that after the "black-face incident" channel 9 were still willing to give Hey Hey another go, yet new projects with actual potential don't get a second look. Good luck to Australia circa 2020 as Somers and the gang continue their misogynist, racist, archaic crap and assist in teaching another generation of kids that 'different' is bad and that women are decorative fashion accessories. Maybe they'll have Tony Abbott as a special guest.

and another thing ...

Nine's digital channel GO! is airing the two Hey Hey it's Saturday specials back to back tonight (-some form of strange and unusual torture?) and I just switched over to find Daryl throwing to a break with a performance from New Zealand singer Ricky May with a song he wrote "especially for this program".

Now correct me if I'm wrong but that kind of insinuates that Ricky wrote the song for the reunion program ... except that Ricky died of a heart attack in 1988.

In the first special there was the awkward Maurie Fields moment (excerpt from previous post);

The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics. It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Again Daryl has nonchalantly thrown to a dead person without mentioning he's deceased - and Ricky died years before Maurie so there's even less chance that the Facebook fanatics that rallied for the return of the program would be likely to know who he was.

Interestingly the controversial Red Faces performance was edited out of the replay. The twitterati weren't happy with their 'Aussie humour' being censored - they probably wanted to revel in their 'win' over those 'pc-pariahs' one more time. Public opinion has shown that a whole lot of Australians think the skit was completely acceptable - as Todd Sampson said on Q&A on Thursday;

I think we have stuffed our heads up our butts if we don't think racism is an issue in Australia (...) I've lived in four continents, I've lived in six different countries and I have to say, not everyone, because it would be a sweeping generalisation, but racism is definitely and firmly an issue in Australia.

Other notably horrific moments from the second Hey Hey program were;

• The young man who decided to get a tattoo of Plucka Duck on his chest. People tell you that you'll regret your tattoos when your older - I think it's safe to say this guy will be holding a hot iron to his chest within a few years.

• Darly Somers.

• Jo Beth Taylor's dress - or lack thereof. Did someone tell her that she would be sitting on a stool and not behind a desk? Thankfully it was on later in the evening so the Sharon Stone moment didn't breach any broadcasting laws.

• Daryl Somers.

• Jackie McDonalds plastic surgery and wig. What happened to ageing gracefully?

• Did I mention Daryl Somers?

I could only handle the second show in pieces so I missed a whole lot of it. I'm pretty sure Daryl mentioned that it was the last show EVER around seventeen hundred times. Will he be proved a liar?

Just Beastly

Something that made Hey Hey's attempt at race relations last night even more poignant was the contrast of it and another little program over on ABC1. Whilst Daryl was blubbering through an insincere apology to Harry Connick Jnr and his 'countrymen' I was pondering the episode of Hungry Beast that had aired at 9pm on the public broadcaster. In the one corner we have a heavyweight champion of old - still pulling the crowd but lacking athletic ability. In the other corner we have a lightweight - not yet ready to play with the big boys but certainly fast on his feet.

Hungry Beast is a melting pot of young talent - some of the segments are painfully amateur, some of them are spot on. The interview with Private Benjamin Ranaoudo's family was a really well-done, poignant piece of television. To then change stations and see the abomination of all that is good taste was a serious reality check.

Kate Langbroek said it best this morning on Nova radio - we all know what the swastika means, and although it might not have affected us we still know that it is wrong to make jokes about it and what it represents.

The media is all over the incident this morning and the responses are varied. There's nothing like a media scandal to bring out the racist, ignorant, uneducated masses who have an opinion and aren't afraid to voice it in all it's bad-grammared nonsensical glory.

Case in point, in the The Daily Telegraph, "gazza of pananina (sic)" wrote;

had harry not been on the show nothing would have been said, and everything would of been just pased over instead of a over reaction,

Then there was this gem from "tia-maria of south coast (sic)";

personally dont watch the show but have in the past now and again......... But as far as the "RED FACE" act i looked at the group and they came across in good taste they were dress nicely...... So in saying that Harry Connick Jr. your the one out of step here.....no RACIST by this act group playing of Jackson5 so just maybe the Americians have a bitch of a problem over there we dont .......SO MAYBE HARRY YOUR THE ONE THAT SHOULD APOLOGISE.....FUTHER MORE WHY DIDNT HHIS KEEP THE JUSGES HERE IN AUSSIE LAND AND JUST MAYBE WE HAVE THIS TO TARNISH THE SHOW IN ANYWAY.

Many people agree with Gazza and Tia and are happy to live in their "non-pc" bubbles. The thing is that, much the same as the Kyle Sandilands lie-detector incident, it comes down to the producers - who let the act get past the audition? Surely someone with some sense could see that this might be a problematic "all in good fun" representation of the Jackson Five?

I'm glad I lost interest in Hey Hey and switched over to Hungry Beast - I managed to catch some fresh, new, exciting television before being dragged back to reality by the dinasaurs at channel 9.

Hey Hey it's Racist

Well, well, well, the second installment of Hey Hey the reunion aired tonight and what do you know? Just like when it was on the air way back when, I lost interest and changed the channel (I'm a fickle little thing).

However, my interest was recaptured when I decided to check how Twitter was traveling with the #heyhey tag (number 1 trending topic as suspected) to find this;

So what happened? From what I can piece together, there was a Red Faces act that was a send-up of the Jackson Five that included a 'blackface' routine - classy, I know. Harry Connick Jnr was a judge and was suitably horrified, stating "If I were home it'd be 'Hey Hey No More Show'."

I particularly liked this response;
Daryl apologised to Harry Connick Jnr at the end of the show and Harry spoke about the struggle of black people in America and how representing them as buffoons is not acceptable. Harry also said that if he'd known the act would be on the show he would not have appeared. Interestingly, Daryl said something along the lines of "we realised that this sort of act might be offensive to your countrymen" - sorry? They're not the only people it's offensive to Daryl - you may have noticed it's not 1950.

I look forward to seeing the reviews tomorrow.

Hey Hey the Verdict

Yes, I sat through the whole THREE hours of it. I did have aspirin and booze at the ready but surprisingly didn't use it - though it wasn't a completely pain-free experience.

Here's the run-down.

Unfortunately for everyone Darryl insisted on dancing AND singing and on telling his usual bad jokes. Besides that though - there were definitely some good moments, and there were some epic fails too. (If there was one person that didn't change channels during "Red Faces" I want to meet that person - and have them commited).

After Darryl's intro where he stated that Hey Hey really wanted to showcase young, new Australian talent - he introduced Jimmy Barnes. Twitter was instantly abuzz with people saying they were expecting John Farnham, and lo and behold, after the ad break Darryl announced that Farnsy would indeed be on the show later. Farnsy was, however, in the middle of a concert in Queensland so Darryl spent the last hour of the show stalling a live cross so that he could say hi to John between songs.

Speaking of Twitter, within 10 minutes of the show being on air #heyhey was a trending topic. By the second ad break it was number 1. Of course the second ad break was not far from the first, or the third, or the many to follow - I think the show might actually have fit into a one hour special were it not for the constant breaks.

Hey Hey tried to show that it had moved with the times by mentioning the infamous Facebook group that started this whole debacle and an email address for people to send their well wishes. In fact, someone was "unbeknownst to channel 9" illegally streaming the show on the internet which interestingly allowed Darryl to cross live to a woman in Michigan, USA - but it wasn't planned of course and nobody knew those naughty scamps would be streaming *wink wink*.

The show stuck to tradition by having b-grade celebs for the segments - the puffin-muffin girl (from the iSelect health insurance ads) was one third of the panel for "Celebrity Head" and pop-singer Cassie Davis (Cassie who? I hear you say) was a judge on Red Faces.

The hot competition for the night, Masterchef, had been mentioned three times in the first half hour - it was as if they were daring people to switch over. Even worse, there was a skit by Russell Gilbert called "Disaster Chef" that was painfully unfunny. In fact, Russell was as bad as he ever was - with his toilet humour and outdated jokes, his gags went down like a kebab-caravan-6am-special.

Particularly awkward moments (besides every second Russell Gilbert was on screen)? The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics (a la Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole in the "Unforgettable" video clip). It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Livinia Nixon should stick to weather. She's a lovely girl but has nothing interesting to say - and she did encourage Darryl to dance - which I'm pretty sure is a chargeable offence.

There had to be a major fashion faux pa and that award goes to Cassie Davis and the badly-ripped-jeans. It seems she was channelling a fashion tragedy from the last time Hey Hey was on tv.

Highlights? There were a few. John Farnham singing "Freedom" - I know, it's horribly daggy of me but I just love him, I can't help it. I've always loved him. I've got "Whispering Jack" on vinyl okay? There, I said it. Judge me as you will.

Molly's Melodrama was definitely a highlight. Molly is a national treasure in my opinion and watching him bluff his way through his segment it was as if he'd never left the studio. John Blackman is as quick-witted as ever and he and Molly bounced off each other well. In fact, Molly was all over tv tonight - also starring on the panel of ABC music quiz show Spicks and Specks at 8:30pm.

Speaking of national treasures, Brian Nankervis as beat poet Raymond J. Bartholomew was simply brilliant (currently on Rockwiz on SBS). It was the first laugh-out-loud moment of the evening for me - how does Brian Nankervis not have his own tv show?

Perhaps because I had such low expectations, I could say that all in all it was a pleasant few hours of nostalgia - but it was really as if the show had never been off the air. To be honest, I don't care if they bring it back as a weekly show, because it can only mean that channel 9 will program less Two and a Half Men.

Chas Licciardello from The Chaser said it best on Twitter;

Big Night on the Box

Well the big day has arrived - there are some serious decisions to be made tonight with several shows competing for your attention on free to air tv.

First of all, there is the much publicized, much gossiped about, much anticipated Hey Hey it's Saturday The Reunion, running a whopping two and a half hours from 7:30pm on channel 9.

Channel 10 has the debut of the special celebrity version of it's powerhouse Masterchef, from 7:30pm.

Over on the national broadcaster at 9pm is the much-anticipated (for all the right reasons), Hungry Beast - Andrew Denton's production company Zapruder's Other Films did a call out earlier in the year for young media talent to create a current affairs type show with a difference - and this is the result.

Channel 7 have gone with World's Strictest Parents and City Homicide - which is either conceding defeat or giving it their best - who can really tell?

The real item-of-interest for me is the Hey Hey special. I truly want it to be something special but fear that it may be memorable for all the wrong reasons. When discussing tonight's line-up with a friend I insisted that she watch at least part of the Hey Hey special - because it's history either way - whether it's so bad it gets taken off air half way through, or it's so good that it heralds a new boost in light entertainment and local funding for Australian tv.

Clearly everyone is expecting the former rather than the latter - but channel 9 will certainly have their fingers crossed.

Nostalgic Nine

In times of crisis, the world turns to nostalgia. The idea is that when things are going badly, remembering when things were going well is a nice escape from reality. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks there was a spike in nostalgia tv and programs like Better Homes and Gardens gained a new audience of viewers that wanted to forget about the 'bad' out there and focus on creating a 'good' home environment.

The world is currently in the midst of a Global Financial Crisis - and who better to deliver some heartwarming nostalgia than good old channel 9 - which is suffering its very own crisis after a string of bad program choices (Australia's Perfect Couple anyone?).

To kick things off we have Television's Best of the Best on Sunday night at 6:30pm. The website describes it as;

A host of Channel Nine's biggest stars look back at Australian television's very best performers and programs. From groundbreaking dramas to our most brilliant comedians, this special event features some of television's most memorable moments.

You'll never have guessed it, but yes, Jules Lund is involved - and one would also assume that the majority (if not all) of Australian television's greatest moments happened on channel 9 of course.

Then we have The Very Best of the Paul Hogan Show on Tuesday the 22nd at 8:30pm. The website tells us we will;

Relive the laughs of the hugely successful Paul Hogan Show with a collection of his favourite moments from the show that changed comic television in Australia.

And I don't mean to alarm you, but it will be hosted by none other than Paul Hogan himself. I wonder if he'll be throwing any shrimps on the barbie? *

But of course the one we've all been waiting for is Hey Hey it's Saturday - The Reunion, airing at 7:30pm on WEDNESDAY the 30th of September with part 2 the following week. As the website says "it's a quirky timeslot for a quirky show" - way to get around that hairy question Nine execs!

And what can we look forward to?

Hey Hey It’s Saturday is bursting back onto your screens ‘LIVE’ with 2 reunion specials featuring the original gang and many of your all-time favourite segments.

Each two hour show will be jam-packed with a kaleidoscope of guests both new and old plus the fabulous Hey Hey ‘live’ Band. And it wouldn’t be Hey Hey without RED FACES, PLUCKA DUCK, CELEBRITY HEAD and many other classic bits.

I must say, the promos for the Hey Hey special definitely had me remembering good times sitting on the living room floor with my siblings on a Saturday night watching Red Faces - but that's the problem isn't it? - these Hey Hey special's aren't going to show us the old clips, they're going to bring something back from the dead that has well and truly decomposed, and I think we've all watched enough zombie movies to know how that turns out.

Either way, it's time to make yourself a vegemite sandwich, drape the Australian flag around your shoulders and get into the spirit of some nostalgic nationalism with channel 9.

* note: if Paul Hogan, in his hosting duties, actually does put a shrimp, or any shrimp-related crustacean, on a barbeque I will eat my own hat ... if I'm wearing one ... and if I haven't already had dinner.

Hey Hey it's a Slow News Day

A young friend of mine joined a Facebook group last week titled "Bring back Hey Hey it's Saturday" and I thought; I'll leave the gorgeous dear alone, after all, she's 16 and couldn't possibly know the pain and trauma an act like that might reckon on the world.

Cut to this morning when another friend sent me a link to this article - and I can be silent no more!

Hey Hey it's Saturday was an evening variety show featuring comedy, music and celeb interviews. Here's an idea: replace Rove McManus with Daryl Somers, Dave Hughes with Dicky Knee and Pete Hellier with Ozzie Ostrich. Put Ryan Shelton in a duck suit and have him throw raw chickens at the audience and you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. The "Red Faces" segment is basically Australia's Got Talent (including Red Symons) and you can "spin and win" on Mornings with Kerri-Anne.

Hey Hey it's Saturday did showcase Australian music talent ... as does Rockwiz ... and it did give young comedians a chance to strut their stuff ... as does Thank God You're Here ...

So we've got it all covered, ok?! No need to bring Daryl back. I think comment 70 summed it up;
Where's the "Bring back Enough Rope" Facebook group or the "Give Brian Nankervis his own Show" Facebook group? Surely these are more worthy causes.

The whole 'group' and 'fan' thing on Facebook is altogether annoying. It distresses me that the article is suggesting the people who join these Facebook groups are actually conscientious supporters of whatever the stupid thing is that they're clicking on. Most people would have joined the Hey Hey group as a laugh - if we locked them in a room for four hours and made them watch reruns I think the outcome would most likely involve a violent rampage, horse tranquilizers and damaged property.

And another thing ...

If the article is about the power of social media, why didn't the author elaborate on the mention of the campaign to bring back the "chips"? Could it be because it wasn't Facebook - it was that old-fashioned medium of radio that succeeded in the reintroduction of the savoury snack Toobs. Hamish and Andy had a segment on their drive time show on Fox where they asked people what product they would like to see return - there was an overwhelming response about Toobs - so they helped lobby Smiths Snackfood Company and Toobs were reintroduced to supermarket shelves.

It seems bored consumers had the power to lobby organisations and make change before the wonders of Facebook.

Shocking, but true.