I wish it wasn't ... Live from Planet Earth

These days when I wonder if it's just me that's feeling a certain way I type a few words into the Twitter search box and see if anyone else is running it up the flagpole. Last night I did that with the words "Ben Elton". If you've had a look at the #benelton stream, I found that I wasn't at all alone in my disappointment.

Ben Elton: Live from Planet Earth debuted last night on channel 9 (to me and a handful of others so the ratings suggest). I'd been quietly hopeful that Elton, who had written British classics Blackadder and The Young Ones, would create an entertaining, quirky, mixed-bag of skits and stand-up that pushed the envelope in a new, fresh way. 

Yes, I know, I'm usually so cynical, I really shouldn't have had any hopes. For starters, it was on channel 9 - not exactly the home of quality Australian content nowadays - but Elton really used to be funny. His books are funny. And he's British - they're generally funny, right? And then there was all that young talent in the ensemble cast. Surely giving young Australian comedic talent a go is worthwhile isn't it?

Well, maybe not. Yes, there is certainly some talent there, but unfortunately Elton wrote the whole thing, so a lot of the 'talent' of the younger cast is being wasted.

Case in point; Veronica Milsom. You would know her from the ABC's Hungry Beast. She's funny, and talented, and gorgeous (which is handy), yet she failed to shine last night on Planet Earth. One particularly horrific skit was a share-house parody where Lady Ga Ga, Beyonce, Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse are shacked up together. Milsom does a great Lady Ga Ga - we already knew this, because she did it on Hungry Beast;

So I guess it was Ben Elton's script that made it so un-funny when Ga Ga and the girls chatted about panties and likened a shit left in the toilet to Mike Tyson's arm. It was just horrific. Even the most talented actors couldn't have saved that script.

All the skits were bad. Why go live if the material is going to be tired and old? A whole lot of the characters were throw-backs from old ones, or just plain rip-offs.

Kylie Mole anyone?

Even Prue and Trude from Kath & Kim made an appearance in the guise of a male/female combo. The thing is that if these homages to past comedic genius had been written well and had a fresh, new angle, it would have been absolutely fine. But it seemed that nothing was new. Take away the overkill on the word 'totally' and take away the innuendo by blatantly referring to female genitalia as 'fanwah' and you have Kylie Mole. Not an homage, a rip-off. 

Where's the imagination in calling a skit about girls share-housing "Girl Flat", or the character of a fat chef "Fat Chef". Live from Planet Earth? Elton seems to be living in Bizarro World where fart jokes and thrush are hilarious and new comedy topics.  

I sound harsh, don't I? And I really wish I didn't because a few of the actors in the ensemble are truly wonderful. Unfortunately, Elton's self-indulgence is stifling anything entertaining they might be able to share. Yep, some of his stand-up was funny and yep, Arj Barker was funny, and yep, Barbara from Bankworld as Elaine Front looks hopeful, but episode one was generally crap. 

I suppose I have to accept that Elton's not going to do anything groundbreaking these days.  He did his groundbreaking 3 decades ago and we are grateful for it. It's someone else's turn now; in the UK with shows like The Mighty Boosh and Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, and right here from Chris Lilley and The Chaser boys.

Still, I don't think Nine should cut it, I'd rather watch Aussies try than another re-run of Two and a Half Men (or some other crap American show for that matter). Maybe Elton will loosen his grip and make it more collaborative - give the actual young people a chance to comment on their world, rather than sticking to cliched, outdated gags.

Finger's crossed the show comes good, or at least has a chance to. There are glimmers of hope there, but channel 9 aren't known for giving programs a chance to grow (and/or redeem themselves). I'm lowering my expectations from 'groundbreaking' to 'entertaining'. Let's see how that works out.

Get the Lowdown

The new ABC1 comedy Lowdown looks fantastic;



It's taking Hungry Beast's spot at 9pm on Wednesday nights from April 21. I just adore Adam Zwar and his brilliant series Wilfred which is currently screening on SBS - am very much looking forward to this one.

Vulva Vulva Vulva

If you're to believe the Herald Sun people are supposedly up in arms about Hungry Beast's segment on vaginas, labiaplasty and magazine censorship which aired last night at 9pm and is repeated tonight at 8:30pm on ABC2. Obviously the Beast is attracting a good audience these days - has everyone forgotten a rather confronting feature documentary aired on SBS last June titled The Perfect Vagina? It showed far more graphic scenes of the surgery and of the female anatomy in general. There has also been a similar documentary regarding male genitalia aired several times over the last few years on SBS.

So why has Aunty showing us a few "graphic" images got everyone's knickers in a knot? 

Let's see, is it that Gen Y (Hungry Beast's target demographic) are prudes when it comes to female genitalia? Doubt it. 

Is it that no one actually watches SBS? Refuse to believe it. 

Or is it that people are quicker to make complaints about the ABC because it's the main public broadcaster and clearly should not be using its funding to educate the masses on the correct representation of the vulva? Methinks it's the latter. After all, it's your ABC, you pay taxes, so you get to put your two cents in about every little thing that may or may not be to your tastes.

The thing is, it is our ABC - as a collective - and most people on Twitter thought the segment was informative and gave it much kudos. Who are the people that found it offensive? Are they not aware of anatomy? Should their children not be aware of the misrepresentation that the censorship laws are creating? Perhaps they should spend their time complaining to the commercial stations about music videos or to their local service station for shoving Krystal Forscutt in their children's faces. 

God forbid the kiddles see an anatomically correct vulva without diamantes or a playboy bunny symbol anywhere near it.    

I thought the segment was well made and not at all innapropriate. I'm not sure whether the magazine censorship laws can be blamed entirely for women's warped visions of what we are supposed to look/act like - but it was a reasonable argument expressed well. Perhaps the sensitive dears not wanting to view the female anatomy could have changed the channel after the first, or second, warning.

Here's Kirsten Drysdale's blog re the issues of censorship covered in the segment.

TV settles in for 2010

To be honest I didn't watch a whole lot of television over summer; the thought of accidentally switching over to the cricket or tennis made me break out in hives. So I took the opportunity to spend some time in the real world bitching about sports with my intellect-elitist friends over a glass of wine at various Fitzroyalty locations where "Hewitt" is a dirty word and tie-dye is well back in fashion.

Of course I can only fake 'cool' for so long so I'm back in my couch-groove watching whatever is on offer.

Here's my thoughts so far;


LOVING

Sleuth 101 (ABC1, Friday 8pm) - pure joy, and this week we have investigator Frank Woodley which should be a hoot.

Poh's Kitchen (ABC1, Wednesdays 6:30pm) - short, simple, good cooking and good conversation.

Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation (Ten, Sunday 7:30pm) - I think it's safe to say I'll watch Shaun Micallef read the newspaper. The only down-side to this great program is Charlie Pickering - sorry, but the more I see him, the more I dislike him - and unfortunately he's everywhere. 

Collectors (ABC1, Sunday 6:30pm) - seriously, what the hell is this brilliant show doing on a Sunday afternoon? Bad timeslot but thank heavens for iView. The new panel line-up is still getting comfortable but it's always well worth watching.

Heartbreak High (ABC3, [repeat] 8:30pm) - what's not to love? Teen angst, 90s fashion, racial tensions, pregnancies, affairs and ... oh yeah ... Alex Dimitriades, *swoon*.

 







LIKING

Hungry Beast (ABC1, Wednesday 9pm) - it's back, it's a bit tighter and smoother (obviously it's been using the Ab-Pro) and I am more than willing to spend half an hour watching it and supporting something that's a bit left-of-centre and that's nurturing young talent.

The White Room (Seven, Thursday 7:30pm) - well, I think 'liking' is a stronger word than I'd use, perhaps 'tolerating' is more appropriate. Either way, it has some great clips from old TV and I'll watch anything that features Man oh Man! I'm guessing it will be axed before it finds its feet, if it has any.

Q & A (ABC1, Monday 9:35pm) - hasn't quite hit its stride yet but we're only two episodes down and one featured only Kevin Rudd so that was hardly going to be edge-of-your-seat entertainment (- unless you like watching an awkward little man be thrown grammatically incorrect questions by Young Liberals who look like they're trapped in 1976) ... actually, that sounds a lot more fun than it actually was.


My Kitchen Rules (Seven, Mondays and Tuesdays 7:30pm) - the shock reveal of 5 new teams has made me lose interest a little bit but I'm definitely semi-watching the show for the time being (by "semi-watching" I mean watching it while I'm doing other things like talking on the phone about how glad I am the WA team were booted).

Good Game (ABC2, Monday 8:30pm) - I still miss "that other guy" but I'm a nerd, so I'll watch it.

Good News Week (Ten, Monday 8:30pm) - depending on the guests, this show is variably watchable. Unfortunately if Akmal Saleh is on I have to switch off, I've heard his joke one too many times. Either way though, Paul McDermott is devilishly handsome.


LOOKING FORWARD TO


Food Safari with Maeve O'Meara (SBS1, returns March 18) - Love Meave, love food, wish I had smell-o-vision.

Wilfred (SBS1, series 2 starts March 8) - One of the funniest Australian comedies. Wilfred is genius.


OBSERVATIONS

The Circle (Ten, weekdays 10am - midday) - as far as I can tell it's just David & Kim with 4 people instead of 2 (and without David or Kim). "Ding Dong" Denise and Chrissie Swan are great and the four women have a good rapport, unfortunately Yumi Stynes is almost unbearable - clearly she has been included to replace David Reyne's awkward comments (when cooking an Asian meal this morning she said she was getting more "slanty" by the minute, *cringe*).

The Biggest Loser (Ten, every five minutes as far as I can tell) - are people seriously still watching this? It's on at dinner time for heaven's sake.

Home & Away (Seven, weeknights at 7pm) - I've never been a fan of the show but I did switch over a few weeks ago to find an incident a la the Cronulla Riots taking place. There was a group of intoxicated youths wearing Australian flags setting fire to the Surf Club - with people of various ethnicities inside! Now that's topical.

Neighbours (Ten, weeknights at 6:30pm) - I haven't been watching Neighbours this year but from what I could piece together from the ads; Steph and Toadie are faking a relationship because Steph is pregnant to her best friend's husband who just happens to be the brother of the man Steph was dating AND caring for after he had a bike accident that left him unable to walk (-for a week or so). Good to see business as usual on Ramsay Street.

The 7pm Project (Ten, weeknights at 7pm) - it seems every time I flip over to this show lately there's a right-wing radio announcer on the panel - so I've stopped flipping over. I do, however, check the website every now and then to find James Matheson doing his thing - and it's usually hilarious.

I'm sure I've forgotten something - I'll edit as I remember.

Hey Hey, Welcome Back to the Future

Well, well, well. Hey Hey it's Saturday has been green-lighted for 20 "special" episodes (otherwise known as a series) on channel 9 next year. Besides the fact that it's to air on a Wednesday, making the title a little beyond a joke, it looks like Molly Meldrum won't be involved due to his contractual obligations to channel 7 and Foxtel. Molly was the clear, and almost only, highlight of the two specials aired this year. Otherwise it was a series of awkward 'dad jokes' and ditzy girls in too-short-skirts giggling maniacally at Darryl's idiotic jests.

Seriously though, why are we moving backward when there is so much young talent fighting for a head-shot on Australian tv? Rove hung up his gloves recently (in some circles to much applause) but at least Rove Live gave a leg-up to talented people like Ryan Shelton and, love them or hate them, Hamish and Andy.

The Hamish and Andy current affairs spoof "Real Stories" (aired on channel 10 in 2006) was really very funny and didn't get nearly as much kudos as it should have.  Meanwhile we have dinosaurs like Darryl Somers making fart-jokes and vomit-in-your-mouth sexual innuendos rating through the roof.

I don't want to see Somers and Co (who, for the record, were rarely funny the first time round) return with more of the same old crap. The specials were an interesting lesson in nostalgia - with the realisation that (a) you can't go back and (b) what you thought was funny when you were twelve is really, really not very funny.

Want mature people on tv? How about people like Brian Nankervis, Andrew Denton, George Negus, Shaun Micallef? I want to see more of them (- yes, I want to see more of Shaun Micallef and yes, I understand that he currently hosts a show on channel 10 and yes, I have seen him recently feature in every other variety/game-show program on channel 10, and yes, I did spend most of Saturday watching The Micallef P(r)ogramme on DVD). And for a fresh young spin on entertainment, we have plenty of talent in John Safran, Julia Zemiro, the Chaser Boys, Ryan Shelton and Lawrence Leung - creating quality entertainment and fresh ideas.

Hungry Beast on the ABC might have been hit and miss but at least it was something a bit different. The Chaser's War on Everything was controversial - but isn't that a good thing? - don't we want our television to challenge us? To force us to take sides and think about things of importance - rather than to sit drooling with a packet of CC's in front of the plasma laughing at yet another dick-joke from a head on a stick?

I'm dissapointed that after the "black-face incident" channel 9 were still willing to give Hey Hey another go, yet new projects with actual potential don't get a second look. Good luck to Australia circa 2020 as Somers and the gang continue their misogynist, racist, archaic crap and assist in teaching another generation of kids that 'different' is bad and that women are decorative fashion accessories. Maybe they'll have Tony Abbott as a special guest.

Moral Panic Outrage

Hungry Beast did a great little piece on public outrage in this week's episode on ABC1. It outlined the process of moral panic amongst the general public.

I thought it was particularly interesting seeing all the fuss today about John Safran's new show Race Relations, set to start next week on ABC1. The Herald Sun had a poll asking if Safran's new show "breached boundaries of decency" - never mind that the show hasn't actually gone to air yet - the Australian public should be able to formulate a well-founded opinion based on ... well ... the Herald Sun article containing the poll, I assume.

On channel 10's The 7pm Project tonight they ran the story of the public's outrage over Race Relations. Dave Hughes pointed out that the Herald Sun poll earlier that day was 70% against the show and Safran's style of humour.

The poll at 8:11pm looked something like this;

So the cycle goes on and the moral panic continues tomorrow when those reacting to Dave Hughes' statement punch their fists proudly in the air and shout "Yeah! Me too!"

*** *** ***

Is it just me or is the moral panic becoming somewhat absurd? The fact that every little public event, performance, letter-opening or sneeze is being picked apart by Ma and Pa kettle is making it very difficult to make pleasant conversation at the water-cooler.

Example 1 - Today at work;

Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Pa Kettle: "Yeah good. Did you see that crap about hitting your kids with a wooden spoon? A bit of discipline never hurt anyone I say."
Me: (stupidly) "Could using a weapon to discipline them be a bit harsh though?"
Pa Kettle: "What?! A wooden spoon's not a weapon! Use whatever you need I say. Kids these days." (shakes head)

Example 2 - Later in the afternoon;

Ma kettle: "Can you believe that John Safran?"
Me: (stupidly) "What's going on?"
Ma kettle: "He's doing a blackface sketch on his new show!"
Me: "Hang on. But I thought the majority of Australia was for blackface humour?" (Could I have possibly misconstrued the 350 comments on The Daily Telegraph article last week?)
Ma kettle: "He's a disgrace that's what he is! They should take him off tv!"
Me: "But are you just saying that because you hate Jews?"
Ma kettle: "What?! he's Jewish too?"

Is all this outrage - directed at pretty much anything - making the issues that are actually worthy of discussion seem a bit, well, stupid? How can I be legitimately offended by the blackface skit if I don't really care whether dwarves dress up as jockeys and ride some crowd members at a racing carnival? If I have a penchant for skinny Jewish boys making fun of organised religion does that mean I should be all for hitting my child with random kitchen utensils?

... hang on, or should that be the other way around?

It seems like Australia is choosing sides and the battle lines aren't very well drawn out. Beware Australia; the water-cooler is no longer a safe place.

* One more thing; are all those people that joined the "I'm a fan of spooning" group on Facebook feeling awkward?

Just Beastly

Something that made Hey Hey's attempt at race relations last night even more poignant was the contrast of it and another little program over on ABC1. Whilst Daryl was blubbering through an insincere apology to Harry Connick Jnr and his 'countrymen' I was pondering the episode of Hungry Beast that had aired at 9pm on the public broadcaster. In the one corner we have a heavyweight champion of old - still pulling the crowd but lacking athletic ability. In the other corner we have a lightweight - not yet ready to play with the big boys but certainly fast on his feet.

Hungry Beast is a melting pot of young talent - some of the segments are painfully amateur, some of them are spot on. The interview with Private Benjamin Ranaoudo's family was a really well-done, poignant piece of television. To then change stations and see the abomination of all that is good taste was a serious reality check.

Kate Langbroek said it best this morning on Nova radio - we all know what the swastika means, and although it might not have affected us we still know that it is wrong to make jokes about it and what it represents.

The media is all over the incident this morning and the responses are varied. There's nothing like a media scandal to bring out the racist, ignorant, uneducated masses who have an opinion and aren't afraid to voice it in all it's bad-grammared nonsensical glory.

Case in point, in the The Daily Telegraph, "gazza of pananina (sic)" wrote;

had harry not been on the show nothing would have been said, and everything would of been just pased over instead of a over reaction,

Then there was this gem from "tia-maria of south coast (sic)";

personally dont watch the show but have in the past now and again......... But as far as the "RED FACE" act i looked at the group and they came across in good taste they were dress nicely...... So in saying that Harry Connick Jr. your the one out of step here.....no RACIST by this act group playing of Jackson5 so just maybe the Americians have a bitch of a problem over there we dont .......SO MAYBE HARRY YOUR THE ONE THAT SHOULD APOLOGISE.....FUTHER MORE WHY DIDNT HHIS KEEP THE JUSGES HERE IN AUSSIE LAND AND JUST MAYBE WE HAVE THIS TO TARNISH THE SHOW IN ANYWAY.

Many people agree with Gazza and Tia and are happy to live in their "non-pc" bubbles. The thing is that, much the same as the Kyle Sandilands lie-detector incident, it comes down to the producers - who let the act get past the audition? Surely someone with some sense could see that this might be a problematic "all in good fun" representation of the Jackson Five?

I'm glad I lost interest in Hey Hey and switched over to Hungry Beast - I managed to catch some fresh, new, exciting television before being dragged back to reality by the dinasaurs at channel 9.

Big Night on the Box

Well the big day has arrived - there are some serious decisions to be made tonight with several shows competing for your attention on free to air tv.

First of all, there is the much publicized, much gossiped about, much anticipated Hey Hey it's Saturday The Reunion, running a whopping two and a half hours from 7:30pm on channel 9.

Channel 10 has the debut of the special celebrity version of it's powerhouse Masterchef, from 7:30pm.

Over on the national broadcaster at 9pm is the much-anticipated (for all the right reasons), Hungry Beast - Andrew Denton's production company Zapruder's Other Films did a call out earlier in the year for young media talent to create a current affairs type show with a difference - and this is the result.

Channel 7 have gone with World's Strictest Parents and City Homicide - which is either conceding defeat or giving it their best - who can really tell?

The real item-of-interest for me is the Hey Hey special. I truly want it to be something special but fear that it may be memorable for all the wrong reasons. When discussing tonight's line-up with a friend I insisted that she watch at least part of the Hey Hey special - because it's history either way - whether it's so bad it gets taken off air half way through, or it's so good that it heralds a new boost in light entertainment and local funding for Australian tv.

Clearly everyone is expecting the former rather than the latter - but channel 9 will certainly have their fingers crossed.