A BIT OF EVERYTHING

Well, I haven't blogged for a while! Sorry about that. As usual life takes over.

Here's just a quick wrap-up of what's been happening (or is coming up).

Artsy stuff I'm loving;

1) Kill Your Darlings literary journal. Not only is it an amazing collection of writing, reviews, interviews and awesomeness but it looks so sexy. It's worth the moula for the cover pic alone (by Melbourne-based artist Jeremy Ley). There's so much goodness here - do yourself a favour.

2) The Wheeler Centre: Books, Writing, Ideas. This is why I love Melbourne. The Wheeler Centre is all about creating discourse around writers and writing - does that sound boring to you? Well you would be wrong there - check out the videos of events that have already happened - including this amazing performance by Paul Kelly at the Gala Evening of Storytelling - and prepare to concede defeat.

I attended the Gala night on February 13 and let me tell you there was a spark in that very large room - the air was electric with anticipation. Not just for the evening of speakers ahead but at what The Wheeler Centre means for Melbourne and where it might take us. Booking online is easy, many of the events are free and if not, are very reasonably priced. The Wheeler Centre has added further evidence to the "there's always something to do in Melbourne" argument, and how.

3) Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Yeah I know, it's over, but bloody hell I love Melbourne ... did I mention that? I managed to catch a whole lotta Comedy Fest. this year but there were two stand-outs for me. Firstly, Good Evening, with Shaun Micallef and Stephen Curry. If you've read this blog at all you know I have a serious crush on Micallef, but don't let that make you think I'm bias in my very high opinion of this production. I know it was the big-name ticket of the festival but there's a reason that these two gentlemen are so loved; they are brilliant. And that is all.

My second pick is Catherine Deveny's God is Bullshit: That's the Good News. It's so hard to love Deveny because she's so hit and miss. One minute you're reading her column shouting "Right on Sister!" and the next you're cringing behind the couch watching her on Q&A, wondering why she told that really bad joke and was glaring at Peter Dutton as if her retinas were burning. 

So I attended her show hoping for the best and was really, wonderfully impressed. She wasn't cracking a string of one-liners - she was telling a story that was close to her heart and it really worked. You didn't have to laugh, you didn't have to agree, you didn't have to understand. I especially liked the references for us post-Catholic-childhood Atheists; liturgical dancing? check. She was wonderfully entertaining and I do love a good "Fuck You!" to organised religion. And the really good news? She's doing a return season at Trades Hall from the 5th to the 8th of May. In the meantime, check out her Lunchbox/Soapbox at, you guessed it, The Wheeler Centre! Whoop!

TV stuff I'm loving;

1) The fact that The Pacific out-rated Hey Hey it's Saturday on its debut Wednesday night.

I watched a bit of Hey Hey and was suitably appalled at the nanna jokes, thinly-veiled racism, not so thinly-veiled sexism and general cringe-worthiness. It's just so wrong. It's like someone tore a hole in the space/time continuum and vomited in it. I didn't watch The Pacific, I'm not really into war-porn. I will try to watch some of the Melbourne episode tonight though (or one of the seven hundred 'encore' repeats on 7 digital).

2) Wilfred (SBS, Monday night 10pm). That mangy dog is a heart breaker, but oh, how I love him. This season is brilliant, my favourite so far is episode 2 where Sarah takes the boys to Nambour and Wilfred has an interesting existential conversation with a Cocky played by ... what do you know? Mr Stephen Curry! (I'm really tying things together here, huh?)

Other stuff;

Underbelly - Episode 1. I watched the first 15 minutes, the last 15 minutes and some bits in between. The dialogue is crap, the acting is average, the voice-over is intolerable - let's see, that leaves tits, stabbings, guns, tits, money, tits, drugs and tits. The most interesting thing about it was following the boob-count on Twitter. Underbelly; where television soap stars go to die (in a knife fight in King's Cross of course). The most horrifying bit was when the voice-over stated that the good-girl-turned-hooker had "liberated" herself by becoming a whore. Seriously? For fuck's sake.

MTR AM - Melbourne's new boys club AM radio station. You can expect bigoted commentary from program director Steve Price and his mates Andrew Bolt, Sam Newman, Steve Vizard and Jason Akermanis, to name a few. Any women you ask? Well a woman does the news updates, and then there's a program on Sundays that's co-hosted by a woman. Take THAT glass ceiling! I am loving thinking of things "MTR" might be an acronym for though; More Tiring Rants is my current favourite.

Roberta Williams - Since the death of Carl Williams on Monday we can expect to see a whole lot more of Roberta (well, whatever there's left to see after her lads mag shoot *spews in my mouth a little bit*). Supposedly New Idea is offering $250,000 for her story and ACA and TT will no doubt be returning to the story every day with "new angles" - i.e. What did Carl eat for breakfast that day? Was he a boxers or briefs kinda guy and did that have anything to do with his homicidal tendencies? - You know, the important stuff that the public want to know.

Masterchef is back - I'm kind of watching it, in that I'm watching it but not actually looking at it because I'm doing other stuff (like cooking a masterchef-worthy dinner). It's all tears and coulis really isn't it? "I'm doing this for my family", "I didn't want to look back and realise I wasted my life", "This is the most intense thing I've ever done" and from the judges, "I'd sell this in my restaurant", "Who would have thought a *insert occupation here* could cook" and "We want you to continue your journey" ... there's the recap for you.

Twitter - I love Twitter. I especially love living vicariously through Twitter. Watching Q&A whilst following Twitter makes it almost bearable when a planted Young Liberal asks a stupid, irrelevant  question (almost). Reading all the hilarious responses to the latest scandal is especially fun - my favourites are @thingboganslike, @firstdogonmoon, @trubnad, @domknight, @scrivenersfancy, @catherinedeveny and @wil_anderson.

Right, so there's a bit of a lot of stuff that I've been musing on - hopefully I get a chance to blog a bit more frequently soon.

In the meantime - follow me on TWITTER ... it's over there on the sidebar ... do it ... do it now ...

Get the Lowdown

The new ABC1 comedy Lowdown looks fantastic;



It's taking Hungry Beast's spot at 9pm on Wednesday nights from April 21. I just adore Adam Zwar and his brilliant series Wilfred which is currently screening on SBS - am very much looking forward to this one.

Bindi and the Bottle

Comedian Fiona O'Loughlin is in the small paper today after a throwaway comment on Wednesday night's Spicks & Specks (8:30pm ABC1). 

Page 7 of the Herald Sun ran a banner "Fellow stars, viewers slam boozy comedian for 'slap' remark". The article even had a breakout box with a blow-by-blow account of the events on screen - excessive? Yes.

The first line of the article read;

Alcoholic comedian Fiona O'Loughlin has sunk to a new low, calling Bindi Irwin a creep who needs a slap in the face.

But by midday the online article had removed the terms "boozy" and "alcoholic" with the only reference to O'Loughlin's former alcohol dependency in italics at the end;

O'Loughlin discusses her battle with the booze in an interview to be published in Saturday's Herald Sun.

Well, well, well. How convenient for the Herald Sun that they should stumble across this "public outcry" just days before their very own feature on O'Loughlin.

The article claims that the ABC's online message board was "awash" with criticism. Really? At midday there were just 22 comments on the thread regarding Wednesday's episode of S&S - hardly a public outcry.

Mind you, there are over 400 comments on the HS website in response to the article. Many of them are along the lines of "how is this news?" and many more along the lines of "it's called comedy, get over it". Sure there are the "who will think of the CHILDREN" lot but I'm pretty sure they all come from the same church-group and flood the comments section en masse whenever the 'moral panic' bells ring out and they are called to action.

Cheap self-promotion from the Herald Sun - not entirely shocking.

Perhaps O'Loughlin can sue for defamation seeing as she is not, in fact, a boozy alcoholic at this time. Whereas Bindi Irwin is, in fact, slightly creepy.  

Bee in your Bonnet?

Up until now, if you wanted to make a formal complaint to a commercial tv station you had to send or fax an actual letter - I mean putting actual pen to actual paper and purchasing an actual envelope (yes, they still make them). 

Well, times they are a changin' and we have this newfangled gadget called the in-ter-net nowadays - and FreeTV Australia has caught on.

SO - if you want to make a complaint about a commercial free-to-air station you just have to go here and fill out the webform. Easy as that.

Perhaps you'll complain about the frequency of Two and a Half Men episodes being aired? - every two and a half minutes as far as I can tell (or that they're aired at all). Perhaps you'll complain about Benny Hill episodes being aired in prime time on channel 7TWO when the youngens can watch and learn his vomit-inducing skills in objectifying women and terribly unfunny what-I'm-assuming-are-supposed-to-be jokes? Maybe you'll complain about the lack of ethnically diverse characters on Neighbours? Or how about that old chestnut of the advertisements being ten times louder than the programs? (I should point out they have a whole page addressing that very issue - which should by no means stop you complaining).

Ohhh, there's so much joy to be had in whingeing. Come on Australia - this is what we do best - and now it's been made easy! Just two minutes away from your Facebook stalking could have you receiving carefully worded emails from the stations explaining to you that your comments have been taken into careful consideration! Pure JOY!

Obviously you're not reading this anymore because you're already over there telling Mel and Kochie just exactly what you think of them ... ahhhhh, so much potential.

* I should point out that the page states;

This Electronic Lodgement System can only be used for complaints under matters covered by the Commercial Television Industry Code of Practice. Code Complaints include program classification;  accuracy, fairness and respect for privacy in news and current affairs; the amount of non-program matter on television; and placement of commercials and program promotions.

But there are links to other feedback avenues so don't let that stop you.

Vulva Vulva Vulva

If you're to believe the Herald Sun people are supposedly up in arms about Hungry Beast's segment on vaginas, labiaplasty and magazine censorship which aired last night at 9pm and is repeated tonight at 8:30pm on ABC2. Obviously the Beast is attracting a good audience these days - has everyone forgotten a rather confronting feature documentary aired on SBS last June titled The Perfect Vagina? It showed far more graphic scenes of the surgery and of the female anatomy in general. There has also been a similar documentary regarding male genitalia aired several times over the last few years on SBS.

So why has Aunty showing us a few "graphic" images got everyone's knickers in a knot? 

Let's see, is it that Gen Y (Hungry Beast's target demographic) are prudes when it comes to female genitalia? Doubt it. 

Is it that no one actually watches SBS? Refuse to believe it. 

Or is it that people are quicker to make complaints about the ABC because it's the main public broadcaster and clearly should not be using its funding to educate the masses on the correct representation of the vulva? Methinks it's the latter. After all, it's your ABC, you pay taxes, so you get to put your two cents in about every little thing that may or may not be to your tastes.

The thing is, it is our ABC - as a collective - and most people on Twitter thought the segment was informative and gave it much kudos. Who are the people that found it offensive? Are they not aware of anatomy? Should their children not be aware of the misrepresentation that the censorship laws are creating? Perhaps they should spend their time complaining to the commercial stations about music videos or to their local service station for shoving Krystal Forscutt in their children's faces. 

God forbid the kiddles see an anatomically correct vulva without diamantes or a playboy bunny symbol anywhere near it.    

I thought the segment was well made and not at all innapropriate. I'm not sure whether the magazine censorship laws can be blamed entirely for women's warped visions of what we are supposed to look/act like - but it was a reasonable argument expressed well. Perhaps the sensitive dears not wanting to view the female anatomy could have changed the channel after the first, or second, warning.

Here's Kirsten Drysdale's blog re the issues of censorship covered in the segment.

Wicked Crime-Drama

Wicked Love: The Maria Korp Story scored 1.3 million viewers last night for channel 9. Starring Rebecca Gibney and Vince Colosimo it told the tale of murdered mother of two Maria Korp in 2005 - a tale that included sex, intrigue, lies, swingers and a good dose of Colosimo-esque ego-mania. It was very watchable.

I wonder though, whether it might have been better to use different names for the characters rather than those from the real life case. With the success of Underbelly has come a trend for real life crime-drama on Australian television. The thing about drama is that the story is embellished to create it. Facts are included or excluded for entertainment purposes. Events are changed, assumed, embellished.

Many people watching last night would have developed an opinion by the end of the telemovie. 

Whether it was that poor old Joe Korp had a personality disorder that was evident from childhood (thanks to some grainy childhood flashbacks of little Joe in 'cowboy' mode) or that Tania Herman was a misguided fool-for-love led astray by her dominating lover - viewers are making assumptions about people in real life based on the character portrayals by some of their favourite actors.

I found it interesting that Maria Korp was portrayed (by Gibney) as a normal albeit long-suffering wife of a cheating husband but that her obsession with psychics, spirituality, animal sacrifice and penchant for the "swinger" lifestyle was touched on only slightly. Her 'eccentric' behaviour was definitely shown as only being a result of her husband being unfaithful.

Tania Herman was portrayed almost as an innocent. A lonely single mother looking for a good time on the internet who was convinced to commit a crime by her lover. A far cry from the tough, muscle-clad Queen of the Jailhouse as some news reports have suggested more recently.

Then there's Joe Korp, eerily portrayed by Vince Colosimo as an unhinged, egotistical, dominating smooth-talker. He is quite plainly the villain of the piece and is unlikeable from the very first moment we meet him - perhaps because we know how the story unfolds.

But these characters are not, in reality, accurate portrayals of the actual people involved in the case - how can they be? Yet some viewers have been commenting on forums and blogs today about the case as though they had read all the court transcripts and had a deep understanding of the actual events.

As a crime-drama Wicked Love was quite good. But it's not a documentary - if it were, then such attractive actors would not have been chosen and there would have been no voice-of-God narration from the dead victim. Even the title suggests that this is indeed the "Maria Korp Story" - not a story based on actual events.

In fact it is based on a novel that is based on actual events called The Maria Korp Case: The Woman in the Boot Story, by Carly Crawford - which I haven't read.

It seems to me though, that in using actual cases for these crime shows that networks are making the viewer the judge, jury and executioner of the people involved in the real case. 

It's an interesting genre and I do find these programs fascinating, but to be honest I'd rather watch Australian Story and get the facts from the actual people involved (if they want to tell them) - even if they are less attractive and there are no soft-focus sex scenes. 

White Room Fail

Unsurprisingly channel 7 has axed it's celebrity game-show The White Room after just two episodes (from Mumbrella).

The show featured two teams of celebrities answering questions about television - sounds like fun right? It certainly had the 'nostalgia' element that was so popular last year where we saw the return of Hey Hey it's Saturday and specials like The Best of the Paul Hogan Show. 

But The White Room just didn't rate.

I would suggest it's because the show was a plain white room filled with varying degrees of celebrity talking about shows of days gone by that were actually wonderful - who wants to watch another cheaply made game-show when reminded of shows like Always Greener and Mother and Son?

Another failed reality/quiz show just brings attention to the fact that the commercial stations put little or no funding into creating quality Australian drama and comedy. It's a lot cheaper to put a few cameras in an airport, on a beach, or in a veterinarian clinic to follow people leading their everyday lives and sell it as "drama" than to hire actual talent to make something new and creative. 

The success of Packed to the Rafters proved that there was a gaping hole in the commercial schedules. Perhaps Nine, Seven and Ten could use the revenue boost from their cut licence fees to create some fresh new drama ...

One can dream.