Year in Review

The ABC News tonight played an amazing mash-up in the last few minutes of the program - it's a fantastic piece of smart editing and can be seen here.

There's also some great stuff on the Year in Review page on the website.

Of course the best wrap-up of the year in review for Australian media is the Walkley Awards, which can be found here.

Safran from the Archives

John Safran: The Lost Pilot was aired last night on ABC1.

After more than a decade in the ABC vaults, the dust was blown off the old reel to reel (alright, maybe it's not that old) and was shown to the masses - except that it was aired at 10:05pm - which isn't exactly prime-time. I don't know what the programmers were thinking putting it on that late, let alone keeping this little treasure under wraps for so long. It is grade-A Safran in all his biting-sarcasm-glory.

It also has the now infamous "Paxton V's Martin" scene where Safran and Shane Paxton confront Ray Martin outside his home in a current-affairs-style ambush. When Ray Martin released his autobiography earlier this year he was still banging on about the incident (and still showed some decided ill-will toward Safran), but to be honest I don't know why he's holding a grudge - the only thing that made him look like an arse was him acting like an arse.

Not to mention the fact that the segment with Martin is probably the least interesting on the pilot. The show is altogether hilarious - particularly John's maniacal monologue berating documentary film makers and his Dalai Llama short-film dancing.

Safran (and co-writer Michelle Bennett) did a brilliant job of the pilot, it's hard to believe it didn't get to air. As Jules Morrow (The Chaser) pointed out on Twitter last night, the ABC's 1998 Annual Report states that comedy for that year was "stretching the boundaries" - Jules thinks, and I agree; not enough. 

You can still catch it on ABC's iView - it's well worth a watch. The DVD will be on sale from January 7 next year.

Women's Weekly Sauce (and not the cranberry kind)

Have you seen the Christmas edition of the Australian Women's Weekly? It's hard to miss. There's a saucy picture of everyone's favourite reality tv loser; Julie Goodwin, from channel 10's Masterchef, adorning the cover in all her red-satin splendour. I was so taken aback by the image, spotted whilst standing in line at my supermarket, that I thought I might do a semiotic analysis.

Here's the cover;

First of all, It's a little bit contradictory to the "homely" image of Jules that is used in every other promo shot for every other kitchen/home product being flogged by every other company. Didn't she win over the Australian public by being the podgy housewife type with a warm cuddle and a suspended halo? It seems AWW decided to shake that image and turn her into a demonic vixen. Too much? Stay with me on this one.

Let's start with the colour red. The colour red in many cultures is synonymous with sexuality and/or danger. It's the colour of blood, linked to menstruation, linked to a girl becoming fertile, linked to a girl becoming a woman, blah blah blah, you get the idea. So link sexuality with danger and you've got one dangerously sexy lady, am I right?

So - the red satin dress. Even without the plunging neck-line (or should that be rib-line?) red satin oozes vamp. That dress is hot - and the ample bosom spilling forth from it is even hotter. One wonders if her nipples have been airbrushed out of the picture on the grounds of common decency! If you need further evidence of the red-dress hotness appeal just flick to pages 37 and 39 of the mag to see the steaming shots of everyone's favourite man-eater Penelope Cruz. Red. Satin. Sex.

Let's move on to her stance. It's a very "come hither" pose really. The open chest area, though on a slight angle, suggests attentiveness to the viewer and the downward angle of the camera makes the viewer dominant. Basically, Julie is interested in you. You might as well be holding a glistening roast turkey, oozing cranberry sauce, pierced with thyme sprigs, surrounded by baked ... alright, alright - obviously I flicked through the food section.

Now let's get to my favourite part of the picture. The balls. So, so many balls. Julie is coveting the balls. She holds the balls, is the master of the balls ... have I said "balls" enough times already? No? There's a whole lot of balls in this picture, yes? One more time; balls. Alright, I think I got that out of me.

Obviously her face has been airbrushed. It seems thinner and sharper than the pictures inside the mag. The cocked eyebrow = sexy. The smoky eye makeup = sexy. The dominance of the long nose by the slight downward angle on the shot = sexy. But why does Julie not have red lipstick on? It's thoroughly dissapointing. And her cheeks could be a bit more flushed for my liking which would suit the 'windswept' look of her hair - like she's just been romping around amongst the decorative baubles with the copy-boy before being snapped by the camera.

Let's see, what else is there? Well, she's dripping in diamonds - and who do you think of when you think diamonds? That's right, in a similar cut dress Marilyn Monroe vamped her way to immortality in the 1953 film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She sang the song Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend - which has since been copied by other sexually-charged artists such as Madonna, Eartha Kitt, Beyonce, Kylie Minogue and Anna Nicole Smith (though I'm not sure that last one can technically be categorised as an 'artist' as such). What the hell was my point? Oh yeah, Jules dripping in diamonds = sexy.

You think I'd be about done, right? Well there's a few little things, like the fact that she has "joy" written across her breast. If you look inside the mag you can even get a taste of Julie's "sweet treats" (alright, that one was a bit wrong - even worse if you imagine Homer Simpson saying it with his head reclined and drool dripping from his mouth). Add to all this that, as Andrew Bolt advised us yesterday; large-breasted women are going to steal your husband, this is one sexually charged, hot-tamale of a picture.

Clearly it has had a profound effect on me - causing me to question all that I thought was true and good in this world. Have the bright-lights of stardom and cling-wrap promotion turned our once wholesome Julie into the man-eating hussy we see before us? Or has the Australian Women's Weekly gone a tad overboard on the "glam" factor for this years x-mas special? I'll let you decide - but don't be surprised if you find a well-worn copy of this edition of AWW stuffed in your partners gym bag.

Oh yeah, and BALLS.

Hey Hey, Welcome Back to the Future

Well, well, well. Hey Hey it's Saturday has been green-lighted for 20 "special" episodes (otherwise known as a series) on channel 9 next year. Besides the fact that it's to air on a Wednesday, making the title a little beyond a joke, it looks like Molly Meldrum won't be involved due to his contractual obligations to channel 7 and Foxtel. Molly was the clear, and almost only, highlight of the two specials aired this year. Otherwise it was a series of awkward 'dad jokes' and ditzy girls in too-short-skirts giggling maniacally at Darryl's idiotic jests.

Seriously though, why are we moving backward when there is so much young talent fighting for a head-shot on Australian tv? Rove hung up his gloves recently (in some circles to much applause) but at least Rove Live gave a leg-up to talented people like Ryan Shelton and, love them or hate them, Hamish and Andy.

The Hamish and Andy current affairs spoof "Real Stories" (aired on channel 10 in 2006) was really very funny and didn't get nearly as much kudos as it should have.  Meanwhile we have dinosaurs like Darryl Somers making fart-jokes and vomit-in-your-mouth sexual innuendos rating through the roof.

I don't want to see Somers and Co (who, for the record, were rarely funny the first time round) return with more of the same old crap. The specials were an interesting lesson in nostalgia - with the realisation that (a) you can't go back and (b) what you thought was funny when you were twelve is really, really not very funny.

Want mature people on tv? How about people like Brian Nankervis, Andrew Denton, George Negus, Shaun Micallef? I want to see more of them (- yes, I want to see more of Shaun Micallef and yes, I understand that he currently hosts a show on channel 10 and yes, I have seen him recently feature in every other variety/game-show program on channel 10, and yes, I did spend most of Saturday watching The Micallef P(r)ogramme on DVD). And for a fresh young spin on entertainment, we have plenty of talent in John Safran, Julia Zemiro, the Chaser Boys, Ryan Shelton and Lawrence Leung - creating quality entertainment and fresh ideas.

Hungry Beast on the ABC might have been hit and miss but at least it was something a bit different. The Chaser's War on Everything was controversial - but isn't that a good thing? - don't we want our television to challenge us? To force us to take sides and think about things of importance - rather than to sit drooling with a packet of CC's in front of the plasma laughing at yet another dick-joke from a head on a stick?

I'm dissapointed that after the "black-face incident" channel 9 were still willing to give Hey Hey another go, yet new projects with actual potential don't get a second look. Good luck to Australia circa 2020 as Somers and the gang continue their misogynist, racist, archaic crap and assist in teaching another generation of kids that 'different' is bad and that women are decorative fashion accessories. Maybe they'll have Tony Abbott as a special guest.

Devine Intervention for Abbott

The Sydney Morning Herald columnist Miranda Devine today has a piece about Tony Abbott's female supporters. She suggests that he is, in fact, beloved by the 'normal' female population, it's just a small proportion of women who find him to be a misogynist bible-bashing ignoramus - she describes these women as;

... the aggressively secular, paleo-feminist, emasculating Australian broad, for whom unabashed red-blooded blokeishness is an affront of biblical proportions.

Really? Biblical proportions? Well she would know about that - being the staunch conservative that she is. But it's the next paragraph that I particularly like;

They are unrepresentative of women, and disproportionately influential, because they either work in the media or politics or have high-profile, heavily networked careers which mean they are quoted in the media, and their opinions sought after.

Why do I like it? Because she's clearly picking a fight with loud and proud feminist and atheist, writer for The Age, Catherine Deveny. I would really like to see these two women have a war of words (or fisticuffs, whichever's easier).

Tony Abbott is a dinosaur. His archaic Christian ideas about women, abortion, divorce and climate change are so far removed from the mainstream mindset that he makes Andrew Bolt look like a reasonable fellow.

I'm waiting patiently for Ms Deveny to put Lady Devine in her place ... please? 

The Wild Things

I was lucky enough to attend the premiere of the much anticipated Spike Jonze film Where the Wild Things Are last night at Melbourne Central. Co-produced by Warner Bros Pictures and Village Roadshow Pictures, the film is an adaptation of Maurice Sendak's children's book of the same name and was filmed in Victoria, Australia after a worldwide location scouting process spanning 18 months.

Max is a mischievous young boy. Frustrated with his family and feeling alone, he escapes to an island of his own creation. The inhabitants of the island are giant, wild creatures who crown Max as their King. It's a story of childhood, but not necessarily for children. It's a fantastical tale, but not necessarily with a happy ending.

To be honest, I have never read the children's book - it was the soundtrack by Karen O. (from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) that drew me to the film. I sat down in the theatre with no expectations, no pre-conceived ideas and no knowledge of how the story might end.

Where the Wild Things Are is dark and it's sorrowful and it's full of rage and confusion. Young actor Max Records plays the main character perfectly. He barely needs dialogue to express the painful disappointment of youth and the realisation that growing up brings no relief. His interactions with the monster Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini) are raw and wonderfully animalistic.

There are some great insights into the psychology of aggression and the development of personality in this story. Max's "island escape" gives him only fleeting relief while he deals with the facets of his own personality (represented by the monsters). Eventually his dark side catches up with him there too and he has to understand and challenge his own feelings before he can move on.

The film is sad. It's really, very sad. It's beautifully, heart-breakingly sad. I sat on the tram afterward enveloped in that numbing sadness ... but surprisingly - it's not a downer. There is something really uplifting about embracing that dark-side and playing with it and taking chances and Max is, after all, a hero and we watch and wait for him to conquer all.

Somehow though, even his smile tugs at your heart-strings. 

Please go see this on the big screen, I simply adored it. The cinematography is amazing and the locations truly look like they're from another world. There's a great little video about the Victorian locations here.

The official website for the film is here.

Where the Wild Things Are is in cinemas this Thursday the 3rd of December.

Mr and Mrs Edelsten

Unless you've been living in a cave you will have heard about the abomination that is the Goeffrey Edelsten and Brynne Gordon wedding. Supposedly it was the "social event of the year" for Melbourne - suggesting that the rest of the year must have been filled entirely with letter openings and high-school formals.

The Herald Sun has a front page pic above the banner today and the write-up made page 5. The Age put some pics on the back page in the Melbourne Life section and the commercial news programs are obviously having a field day with it.

So who the hell cares if some old gheezer with loads of cash marries his "work in progress" little lady in a lavish affair at the Crown casino? Few people had even heard of Mr Edelsten before the Brownlow ceremony this year, and those that had wished they could forget. And no one would ever have heard of Brynne Gordon if she hadn't stumbled across a horny old man and decided that sleeping with him was worth the millions of dollars he'd leave to her when he kicked the bucket in the not-too-distant-future.

Am I being nasty? Oh, they're getting their guests to give money to charity in lieu of gifts you say? Well going by the B-grade celeb guest list I'm not sure they'll be making anywhere near the 3 million it cost them to put on the bourgeois affair. I doubt that ex-Big-Brother-contestants and Neighbours stars will be emptying their pockets for charity - the donation basket was probably filled with autographed, glossy 8x10s rather than $100 bills.

When events like this become news I'm reminded of something a lecturer told me once; If all of the world were annihilated and just one newspaper/news program was recovered by aliens, what would they think of us as a human race?

An even more scary thought occured to me after seeing the new "disaster film to end all disaster films" 2010 - if you haven't seen it, there are ships that have been built to survive the end of the world and a ticket on the ship costs 1 billion dollars. It's scary because it's people like Mr and Mrs Edelsten that would be boarding that Contiki World-End Tour and *shudder* re-populating the world.

You want more evidence that the Edelsten couple should de-throne Bec and Lleyton Hewitt as King and Queen of the Bogans on the brilliant Things Bogans Like blog? Geoff is planning on opening a luxury "nip/tuck clinic" in ... wait for it ... Caroline Springs.

There, I said it. Bogans. Grade-A, sell-their-mother-for-a-bundy-and-coke Bogans. Should Bogans not celebrate their nuptuals in any way they please? I hear you ask. Well, yes, I suppose they can - but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AND IT ISN'T NEWS.

Enough. Now what's all this about a shit-fight in the Liberal Party and Tony Abbott wearing rocket-poppers?

(My apologies in advance for that last link - do not open if you have a weak stomach.)

MAUVYRN3HF92

Changes for 2010

It's the end of the year and both radio and tv stations are making changes. As we know, Rove will not be returning next year, or ever, on channel 10. Surprisingly Australian Idol will be coming back in 2010 despite bad ratings this year (though the finale last night was a ratings winner), along with the 7pm Project which will be aired twice a day over summer - with a repeat after the late news.

Channel 7 have a call-out for contestants for another series of Beauty and the Geek. The Einstein Factor and Sunday Arts are finishing up on the ABC. Media Watch will be back next year with Jonathan Holmes at the helm and Review with Myles Barlow has been funded for a second series.

On radio, the big news today is that Robbie, Marieke and the Doctor are finishing up this year as Triple J breakfast hosts. They will be replaced by the weekend hosts Tom and Alex. Tim Ross and Kate Ritchie are leaving their Nova 969 breakfast show - ending the long performance relationship between Merrick and Rosso. More locally, the Triple R breakfast show will be losing Sam Pang who is currently hosting the music quiz show ADBC on SBS.  

She Sings the Verses

I think it was the Pushover music festival in 1996 when I first saw Ella Hooper. Her voice had a rich, creamy thickness to it that stopped me in my tracks. I was actually on my way from the first aid tent where my friend's sprained ankle was being attended to. I was supposed to be getting a drink for said friend - but I had to listen to Killing Heidi's set before I could peel my converse from the sticky floor.

I have one of the orange Killing Heidi t-shirts from that year with a little space-girl on it - I found it again a little while ago. Needless to say, I am a fan of Killing Heidi, Ella Hooper and the Hoopers in general - so it was a delight, about a year ago, when Ella and brother Jesse started playing gigs around town as The Verses.

Today their four track, self-titled EP was released on iTunes. Ella's voice is still perfectly wonderful. If you're a fan of KH beware; The Verses have a delicious country sensibility - far removed from the rock sounds of KH. That being said, listening to The Verses may just give you the uncontrollable urge to buy a beat-up convertible and head on out to the open road - for a long drive to nowhere in particular.

The single "Forever More" oozes Fleetwood Mac - very apt seeing as The Verses will be supporting the Mac on their upcoming Australian tour. The intro has heavy drums and breathy vocals and the chorus has some kick-ass vocal harmonies that give it that 70's layered richness that the Mac are so famous for.

I really dig these four tracks, especially the first one "Everything at Once". I should also point out that I don't usually like country music - so don't let that deter you.

The Verses are going to be on high rotation at my place this summer. 

White + Bogans = White Bogans

For a long time now, the Stuff White People Like blog has been a favourite of mine. It is written by the brilliantly witty Christian Lander and talks about - you guessed it - stuff white people like. It is outrageously funny - but I haven't blogged it because it's not Australian, and I like to stick to Aussie media on this here site.  Speaking of, here's Christian Lander talking about his blog, and now book, on Melbourne's Triple R breakfast show a few months ago.

So why am I blogging about it? Well, Stuff White People Like seems to have spawned an Australiana themed blog that is equally hilarious. And so it is time to share with you; Things Bogans Like.

Beginning with the explanation of the prototypical Bogan (Bec and Lleyton Hewitt - of course) it has since given a daily insight into the eccentricities of your garden-variety Australian Bogan. Highlights include #2 - Buddhist Iconography as Home Furnishings and #6 - Prefacing Racist Statements with 'I'm not racist but ...'.

It's only up to #22 so it's a great time to jump on board and get your daily fix of funny. The facebook  page already has 1,835 fans and from the comments section both the Bogans and non-Bogans are embracing the site.

Not so Good Charlotte

Well the Madden boys of Good Charlotte fame are in town this week and have discovered a none too well kept Australian secret; Jo Stanley is utterly intolerable.

The boys were at Fox 101.9 this morning for an interview on the Matt & Jo show and weren't too impressed with the line of questioning. After walking out on the show Joel tweeted;

Most of the time I can put up with idiot morning show hosts but not today. I guess I have finally found some Aussies I don't get on with. 

It's okay Joel - we all feel the same way.

It's OK! not to have the goss.

This morning I happened upon the editor of OK! magazine Claire Isaac doing a spot on 9am with David and Kim (channel 10).

Isaac was discussing the latest edition of the mag which features a one on one interview with Kyle Sandilands at home with his wife. She was saying what a lovely, kind-hearted person he is (vomit) and that he had just got back from the US.

She said that he spends a lot of time in the US because his wife Tamara has work over there ... umm ... according to The Daily Telegraph, Kyle himself is actually doing a TV show in the US with Brian McFadden - a simple Google search could have told her that - here's the story. Of course, that news broke after the magazine story was written so obviously Isaac can't be expected to know about it! Who researches a person they're going on national television to talk about? Ludicrous!

I would have thought The Daily Telegraph and OK! magazine would be good friends seeing as they both spin absolute crap.

Not so Good Game

A furor has erupted over the ousting of ABC's Good Game co-host Jeremy Ray, known as "Junglist" (above left). He was given his walking papers last month from the host position and has this week had a fair bit to say about the reasons for the axing.

According to him, he was given the boot because ABC execs. wanted a female co-host to gain "mass appeal". However the ABC has stated "performance-based" reasons for the parting of ways.

Articles on online news websites have had hundreds of comments supporting Junglist and questioning his replacement. The young, attractive blonde Stephanie Bendixsen (Hex) co-hosted her first episode last Monday with founding host Steven O'Donnell (Bajo). 

Here is the official statement on the Good Game forums.

Comments on the official forum and the news site are suggesting that the producers have replaced Junglist with an attractive girl in an attempt to gain a new audience. I think this comment on news.com.au says it all;

Hex did an okay job of presenting on Monday's episode but she doesn't have anywhere near the gaming experience, interest or skill as Junglist. Another disconcerting aspect to her performance is the way she looks at the camera (screen shot from Monday's show);

Someone has their "sexy" face on. She is certainly an attractive young girl and it's unfortunate for her that she has entered the hosting position on such negative terms. The die-hard Good Game fans don't seem to be ready to give her a chance if the forums and Facebook groups mean anything. There's even an online petition to return Junglist to the show.

Here's a comment from the official Good Game Facebook page yesterday;

It will be interesting to see if anything comes of the petitions and web-campaigns, after all, we saw the power of the Facebook group with the return of Hey Hey it's Saturday.

Myf's Coming up Roses

Myf Warhurst has been writing a great column for The Age on Fridays. Correct me if I'm wrong though, but I have noticed a theme.

Myf is a wonderfully down-to-earth woman who is much more attractive than the majority of mindless bimbos we see in the media today - but she seems to be consistently writing columns steeped in self-loathing.

On October 9 she talked about celebrity food-critic and author Matt Preston insinuating that she was 'dumpy' by naming a cravat after her and describing it as "short and slightly wide". The first few sentences were heartbreaking;

I've had a few challenging moments this year. I got sacked from my job on commercial radio, nominated by a tabloid paper as worst dressed at the Logies, yelled at by a 12-year-old at the footy, "Hey, you're that fat slut from the telly", and told by a comedian that "a treadmill's not gonna save you, luv". He wasn't joking either. As you can imagine, my confidence hasn't been at an all-time high.

In her October 15 column she talked about baring all for art where she berated herself for being stupid enough to think getting naked in public wouldn't come back to bite her on the bum - so to speak.

Last weeks column was a lovely piece about becoming a crazy old cat-lady and today's describes her constant inadequacy when dressing for the races. Again, she has sold herself well short;

Hats look great on others but I feel stupid in them and they look stupid on me. We have nothing in common.
The compromise was a hair band decorated with what looked like peacock-coloured chook feathers. My intention was old world glamour. The result? More like dead pigeon stapled to a tiara.

The cravat column received 87 comments on the National Times website - the majority of which were reassuring Myf that she was, in actual fact, a deadset fox.

There's something so honest in Myf's telling tales of self-doubt. Few women could say that they're happy with the way they look - their weight, height, bra size or eye-colour. Not many would be happy to share those feelings with the world.

Good on her for being brave but hopefully future columns will see her shine like the star she is. She has certainly had some knocks this year as she stated, but I'm tired of the self-deprecating Myf - I want the confident, self-assured Myf back.

Goodbye to All Saints

One of Australia's most successful dramas finishes its 12 year run tonight with the final of All Saints airing on channel 7 at 9:30pm tonight.

The show has been nominated for and won numerous Logie Awards, including five "most popular actress" nominations in a row for Georgie Parker from 1999 (she won it in 2001). The program won most popular Australian drama in 2001,2002 and 2003.

The popularity of the show has seen it reach audiences of more than 1.5 million viewers, the most popular period being the blossoming romance between former nun Nurse Terri Sullivan (Georgie Parker) and Dr Mitch Stevens (Erik Thomson). When Parker left the show in 2005 it lost many of its viewers, but there was one endearing character throughout the entire show, Nurse 'Von' Ryan (played by Judith McGrath) that held the cast together and played the cool, tell-it-like-it-is nurse that everyone grew to love.

Dr Frank Campion (John Howard) has been another unforgettable character along with Nelson Curtis (Paul Tassone) and Charlotte Beaumont (Tammy MacIntosh).

It's the end of another long-running Australian drama. Certainly All Saints had lost its way over the last few years with the flashy revamp and shift to emergency rescue rather than hospital drama but it has certainly made its mark on Australian television and given us some of our most watched storylines (and most heartbreaking character departures).

Here's the finale promo;

Looks set to be a tear-jerker.

7TWO finally!

Channel 7 is finally launching it's digital channel 7TWO on November 1st. The website describes;

7TWO is more of what audiences love about Seven. More drama, more lifestyle, more reality, more comedy, more movies . . . more first class entertainment, free for everyone.

Programs include; Ugly Betty, Heroes, Lost, 24, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, A Touch of Frost, Prime Suspect, Judge John Deed, Rosemary and Thyme, Minder, Coronation Street, The Martha Stewart Show and more.

I'm actually looking forward to Murphy Brown and Moonlighting (and I do have a penchant for Magnum PI). The Jay Leno show will also be aired at 6pm weeknights with AFL footy flashbacks on weekend mornings.

Further to this, viewers are promised;

Additional themed nights of programming include Action & Adventure, Lifestyle and Movies with the latter featuring an extensive catalogue of family titles from Disney’s studios.

It looks like there's not a whole lot of local content, much the same as channel 9's GO! with most programs from the US and UK.

Still, more channels means more variety ... I just wonder if this will encourage all those Australians who are yet to move to digital to take the plunge.

RIP Don Lane

Entertainer Don Lane has died today aged 75 and there will no doubt be endless well-deserved tribute shows on Australian TV. The first is tonight on channel 9 at 8:30pm.

This is one of my favourite clips of Don singing the final number for the D-Gen's "The Late Show" finale.



Don has given so much to Australian television and I was saddened to hear of his passing today having grown up watching him on The Don Lane Show.

RIP Don Lane.

Gone Viral

Peter Hitchener on channel 9 news has become the latest internet meme (or rather, his winged fried has);

Not so Punchy

The Punch website vowed to "live blog" through tonight's first episode of John Safran's Race Relations on ABC1.

Well, what a heart-stopping, informative and poignant live blog it was - for example, there were gems like this;

And of course, there was this biting commentary from Punch blogger Tory Maguire;

Meanwhile, over on the ABC Mr Safran was reminding me why I hold him in such high esteem as a naughty, intelligent, witty documentary-maker.

Oh how I missed his work.

Like a true addict, I'm off to watch my box set of John Safran Versus God.

* Oh, and Racebook? Pure brilliance.

Safran Takes a Punch

ABC's head of television has advised conservative viewers to steer clear of John Safran's Race Relations tonight on ABC1.

Whilst warning those sensitive folk away, Kim Dalton did defend the show and its ideas;

"Innovation necessarily involves a willingness to take risks, to be inventive and open to fresh ideas ... It also means pushing boundaries - boundaries that some, often many, would prefer not to be pushed."

The Punch website not only published the commentary but will be blogging throughout the show tonight.

Trash TV

For the purposes of this blog I try to watch as much Australian tv as I can handle. If I'm at home and there's something programmed, I'll take a look at it. In many circumstances, it's very rewarding - the new season of East West 101 on SBS, for example, blows all those Crime Scene Investigation *insert name of US city here* shows out of the water.

Sometimes however, it's a painful exercise in discovering why the rest of the world thinks Australia is entirely populated by neanderthal half-wits who think Blackface skits are hilarious. 

Aussie Ladette to Lady on channel 9 is beyond horrible. I suppose I shouldn't expect much from the channel that brings us The Footy Show and Two and a Half Men but this is seriously shove-your-fingers-down-your-throat, scrub-your-skin-raw-with-Solvol-soap, scoop-your-eyes-out-with-a-spoon horrible.

Both the girls and their 'teachers' are revolting in so many ways. The girls (obviously amping up their disguisting behaviour for the cameras) are creatures that defy evolution. How can people like this exist? They don't need deportment lessons, they need to be euthenaised.

Their teachers are archaic dinosaurs from yesteryear clinging on to irrelevant customs and patriarchal ideals. "What man would ever want you?" - as if a man's attention is the only thing that truly makes a woman worthwhile.  Perhaps they should be teaching them how to get a job rather than how to bake a tart for their future husband.

I don't understand what the viewer is supposed to be feeling; are we supposed to be amused? shocked? Are we supposed to feel sorry for the poor, uneducated darlings? In the words of another English 'lady'; We are not amused.

Besides all the other obvious reasons as to why this show is utterly unwatchable - I just can't handle all those British smiles. I spent the whole 15 minutes before I changed the channel in disgust wondering how the English aristocracy have still not discovered the  readily available science of dentistry.

15 minutes was too long. 

As Day Follows Night

For some time now I've been patiently waiting to listen to the new Sarah Blasko album As Day Follows Night.

I know, it's been out since July, but after hearing the first single I didn't want to listen to the whole thing until I could hear it on vinyl - so today I went to Polyester Records on Brunswick Street and made my long-awaited purchase.

I was not disappointed. There's something about that wholesome record scratch that works so well with Sarah's husky voice. This album is another gem - following from two previous albums The Overture and the Underscore and What the Sea Wants the Sea Will Have.

There are no filler tracks (songs that aren't brilliant but are put on the record to make up numbers). Each and every one is beautifully engaging. Side 2 of the album reminded me of Suzanne Vega's 1996 album Nine Objects of Desire - especially the songs Lost & Defeated and Over and Over (the last verse of which is from Talking Heads "Road to Nowhere"). There's that strong drum and solid vocal sound reminiscent of Vega in her prime.

Blasko's voice is haunting and warm and rich and delicious - which is why I wanted to listen to it on record - nothing quite gives you that 'sitting right next to you' sound as well as vinyl does.

My favourite tracks are the opening Down On Love and the first single We Won’t Run. Unfortunately with the record you don't get the bonus tracks which include Sarah's popular cover of Xanadu.

As usual the video clips have that quirky Blasko touch that is so endearing. Here's All I Want;

Do yourself a favour - put on the record, pour yourself a glass of wine and visit Sarah's beautiful world for a little while. If only there were frequent flyer points - I've already visited 4 times today.

* Sarah's finishing up her Australian tour and is off to New Zealand. She'll be back for Homebake and the Falls Festival in December. She's been nominated for five Aria awards which are on the 26th of November.

Tweet Tweet

Look! There's something new in the sidebar!

You can now follow Screamedia on Twitter.

If you thought your life was complete before - you were wrong. Very wrong. Let me show you how wrong you were.

Moral Panic Outrage

Hungry Beast did a great little piece on public outrage in this week's episode on ABC1. It outlined the process of moral panic amongst the general public.

I thought it was particularly interesting seeing all the fuss today about John Safran's new show Race Relations, set to start next week on ABC1. The Herald Sun had a poll asking if Safran's new show "breached boundaries of decency" - never mind that the show hasn't actually gone to air yet - the Australian public should be able to formulate a well-founded opinion based on ... well ... the Herald Sun article containing the poll, I assume.

On channel 10's The 7pm Project tonight they ran the story of the public's outrage over Race Relations. Dave Hughes pointed out that the Herald Sun poll earlier that day was 70% against the show and Safran's style of humour.

The poll at 8:11pm looked something like this;

So the cycle goes on and the moral panic continues tomorrow when those reacting to Dave Hughes' statement punch their fists proudly in the air and shout "Yeah! Me too!"

*** *** ***

Is it just me or is the moral panic becoming somewhat absurd? The fact that every little public event, performance, letter-opening or sneeze is being picked apart by Ma and Pa kettle is making it very difficult to make pleasant conversation at the water-cooler.

Example 1 - Today at work;

Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Pa Kettle: "Yeah good. Did you see that crap about hitting your kids with a wooden spoon? A bit of discipline never hurt anyone I say."
Me: (stupidly) "Could using a weapon to discipline them be a bit harsh though?"
Pa Kettle: "What?! A wooden spoon's not a weapon! Use whatever you need I say. Kids these days." (shakes head)

Example 2 - Later in the afternoon;

Ma kettle: "Can you believe that John Safran?"
Me: (stupidly) "What's going on?"
Ma kettle: "He's doing a blackface sketch on his new show!"
Me: "Hang on. But I thought the majority of Australia was for blackface humour?" (Could I have possibly misconstrued the 350 comments on The Daily Telegraph article last week?)
Ma kettle: "He's a disgrace that's what he is! They should take him off tv!"
Me: "But are you just saying that because you hate Jews?"
Ma kettle: "What?! he's Jewish too?"

Is all this outrage - directed at pretty much anything - making the issues that are actually worthy of discussion seem a bit, well, stupid? How can I be legitimately offended by the blackface skit if I don't really care whether dwarves dress up as jockeys and ride some crowd members at a racing carnival? If I have a penchant for skinny Jewish boys making fun of organised religion does that mean I should be all for hitting my child with random kitchen utensils?

... hang on, or should that be the other way around?

It seems like Australia is choosing sides and the battle lines aren't very well drawn out. Beware Australia; the water-cooler is no longer a safe place.

* One more thing; are all those people that joined the "I'm a fan of spooning" group on Facebook feeling awkward?

Loser Hayley

Ex-swimmer Hayley Lewis has just been announced as the host of the new season of channel 10's The Biggest Loser.

Previous host Ajay Rochester "quit" the show after a much-publicised brush with the law. She had been host of the show since 2006.

The Biggest Loser returns on February 1st, this year with 10 couples competing.

Always wondered about radio ratings?

I love this little ditty presented at the Australian Commercial Radio Awards on the weekend where those lovable lads Hamish and Andy cleaned up as expected.

This piece was produced by Merrick and Rosso and explains how the Neilson polls really work (found through Mumbrella);

and another thing ...

Nine's digital channel GO! is airing the two Hey Hey it's Saturday specials back to back tonight (-some form of strange and unusual torture?) and I just switched over to find Daryl throwing to a break with a performance from New Zealand singer Ricky May with a song he wrote "especially for this program".

Now correct me if I'm wrong but that kind of insinuates that Ricky wrote the song for the reunion program ... except that Ricky died of a heart attack in 1988.

In the first special there was the awkward Maurie Fields moment (excerpt from previous post);

The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics. It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Again Daryl has nonchalantly thrown to a dead person without mentioning he's deceased - and Ricky died years before Maurie so there's even less chance that the Facebook fanatics that rallied for the return of the program would be likely to know who he was.

Interestingly the controversial Red Faces performance was edited out of the replay. The twitterati weren't happy with their 'Aussie humour' being censored - they probably wanted to revel in their 'win' over those 'pc-pariahs' one more time. Public opinion has shown that a whole lot of Australians think the skit was completely acceptable - as Todd Sampson said on Q&A on Thursday;

I think we have stuffed our heads up our butts if we don't think racism is an issue in Australia (...) I've lived in four continents, I've lived in six different countries and I have to say, not everyone, because it would be a sweeping generalisation, but racism is definitely and firmly an issue in Australia.

Other notably horrific moments from the second Hey Hey program were;

• The young man who decided to get a tattoo of Plucka Duck on his chest. People tell you that you'll regret your tattoos when your older - I think it's safe to say this guy will be holding a hot iron to his chest within a few years.

• Darly Somers.

• Jo Beth Taylor's dress - or lack thereof. Did someone tell her that she would be sitting on a stool and not behind a desk? Thankfully it was on later in the evening so the Sharon Stone moment didn't breach any broadcasting laws.

• Daryl Somers.

• Jackie McDonalds plastic surgery and wig. What happened to ageing gracefully?

• Did I mention Daryl Somers?

I could only handle the second show in pieces so I missed a whole lot of it. I'm pretty sure Daryl mentioned that it was the last show EVER around seventeen hundred times. Will he be proved a liar?

Beauty and the Geek

Hmm, what can one say about channel 7's Beauty and the Geek? Let's see, there are some vacuous beauties that have more interest in the Women's Suffrage Movement than they have brain cells (i.e. none) and a bunch of horny post-grad boys with their hands firmly in their pockets.

It's introduced as a 'wacky social expiriment' but those of us more discerning folk might more accurately assess it as an excuse for commercial television to objectify women and make fun of unnatractive men. Cynical? Me? Never.

Here's the thing though; the 'beauties' are begging to be objectified (you can just see the girls arguing in the limo about which one will be offered the most money to do an FHM spread once booted off the show) and if the 'geeks' were truly intelligent they would have run from the house screaming on day one. For the record, a photographic memory does not an intellect make.

For one whole hour the hot girls say stupid things and the awkward boys tell them how brilliant they are. The only benefit I can see of this program is that all those computer-loving, nerdish lads across Australia that are too shy to talk to the ladies will realise that all they need do to get to third base with girls like these is tell them their fluorescent orange fake-tan looks really natural. (Hot tip lads - you heard it here.)

Maybe parents can watch it with their children in an attempt to scare them in to higher education - my particular favourite was one beauty's self-assessment as an "11 out of 10" in the looks department - even without her makeup! She definitely has a 10 out of 10 body, but that accurately leaves just 1 for her face.

Meow!

A girlfriend of mine recently told me (quite rightly) that it's terrible how we women pick each other apart and perpetuate the evaluation of a woman's worth as relative to her appearance - but so far these women have offered no other redeeming features as criteria for an assessment.

I would love to be proved wrong. Unfortunately I'm not certain I could sit through another episode.

After 60 minutes of idiotic giggling and declarations of love to strangers ("Awwww, I love you's guys so much! I don't want ANYone to leave!") I was so dissapointed in my own sex it was a relief to switch over to the ABC and Germaine Greer on Q&A.

Just Beastly

Something that made Hey Hey's attempt at race relations last night even more poignant was the contrast of it and another little program over on ABC1. Whilst Daryl was blubbering through an insincere apology to Harry Connick Jnr and his 'countrymen' I was pondering the episode of Hungry Beast that had aired at 9pm on the public broadcaster. In the one corner we have a heavyweight champion of old - still pulling the crowd but lacking athletic ability. In the other corner we have a lightweight - not yet ready to play with the big boys but certainly fast on his feet.

Hungry Beast is a melting pot of young talent - some of the segments are painfully amateur, some of them are spot on. The interview with Private Benjamin Ranaoudo's family was a really well-done, poignant piece of television. To then change stations and see the abomination of all that is good taste was a serious reality check.

Kate Langbroek said it best this morning on Nova radio - we all know what the swastika means, and although it might not have affected us we still know that it is wrong to make jokes about it and what it represents.

The media is all over the incident this morning and the responses are varied. There's nothing like a media scandal to bring out the racist, ignorant, uneducated masses who have an opinion and aren't afraid to voice it in all it's bad-grammared nonsensical glory.

Case in point, in the The Daily Telegraph, "gazza of pananina (sic)" wrote;

had harry not been on the show nothing would have been said, and everything would of been just pased over instead of a over reaction,

Then there was this gem from "tia-maria of south coast (sic)";

personally dont watch the show but have in the past now and again......... But as far as the "RED FACE" act i looked at the group and they came across in good taste they were dress nicely...... So in saying that Harry Connick Jr. your the one out of step here.....no RACIST by this act group playing of Jackson5 so just maybe the Americians have a bitch of a problem over there we dont .......SO MAYBE HARRY YOUR THE ONE THAT SHOULD APOLOGISE.....FUTHER MORE WHY DIDNT HHIS KEEP THE JUSGES HERE IN AUSSIE LAND AND JUST MAYBE WE HAVE THIS TO TARNISH THE SHOW IN ANYWAY.

Many people agree with Gazza and Tia and are happy to live in their "non-pc" bubbles. The thing is that, much the same as the Kyle Sandilands lie-detector incident, it comes down to the producers - who let the act get past the audition? Surely someone with some sense could see that this might be a problematic "all in good fun" representation of the Jackson Five?

I'm glad I lost interest in Hey Hey and switched over to Hungry Beast - I managed to catch some fresh, new, exciting television before being dragged back to reality by the dinasaurs at channel 9.

Hey Hey it's Racist

Well, well, well, the second installment of Hey Hey the reunion aired tonight and what do you know? Just like when it was on the air way back when, I lost interest and changed the channel (I'm a fickle little thing).

However, my interest was recaptured when I decided to check how Twitter was traveling with the #heyhey tag (number 1 trending topic as suspected) to find this;

So what happened? From what I can piece together, there was a Red Faces act that was a send-up of the Jackson Five that included a 'blackface' routine - classy, I know. Harry Connick Jnr was a judge and was suitably horrified, stating "If I were home it'd be 'Hey Hey No More Show'."

I particularly liked this response;
Daryl apologised to Harry Connick Jnr at the end of the show and Harry spoke about the struggle of black people in America and how representing them as buffoons is not acceptable. Harry also said that if he'd known the act would be on the show he would not have appeared. Interestingly, Daryl said something along the lines of "we realised that this sort of act might be offensive to your countrymen" - sorry? They're not the only people it's offensive to Daryl - you may have noticed it's not 1950.

I look forward to seeing the reviews tomorrow.

Not a Good Night - Definition of Irony

The 7pm Project tonight (on channel 10) had a story about the sexualisation of children after Australian author Maggie Hamilton released the results of a year long study into young girls' milestone life events.

They had a guest lobbyist, Julie Gale from the group Kids Free 2B Kids on the show to discuss the issue - who, I might add, was asked idiotic questions by guest panelist Jo Stanley (example; "What's wrooooong with an 11 year old girl getting a Brazilian though? If she wants one who caaaaaares?").

Now, to the ironic part - after the break, Myf Warhurst did an interview with The Black Eyed Peas - those wonderful role-models of all that is tasteful and appropriate.

To be honest I never really had an opinion of The Black Eyed Peas - until I saw the video clip for their song "I Got a Feelin'". Let me break it down for you. The clip shows a bunch of girls dressing up like hookers, getting smashed at a party, making out (read 'having sex') with random people and eventually passing out in a gutter.

That's a good night.

Of course there are much more graphic video clips out there and I'm not saying it's a bad thing or that sexy clips should be banned - on the contrary, but this particular clip is played on Video Hits at 10am on a Saturday - and my 5 year old niece thinks The Black Eyed Peas are fantastic.

The point Julie Gale was trying to make was that young girls are inundated with sexual images and are developing a warped sense of self as a result.

Maybe The 7pm Project should stick to less serious news stories so the panels bad jokes, ridiculous comments and obvious lack of knowledge about serious topics aren't so out of place.

Tony Martin, Jon Faine and Daniel Kitson

Could you ask for anything more? This morning Jon Faine had co-host Tony Martin in the studio for his Conversation Hour on ABC Radio Melbourne (774). They were joined by UK comedian Daniel Kitson - and of course, hilarity ensued. You can listen here.

Martin is currently promoting his new book of memoirs A Nest of Occasionals (following from his 2005 book Lolly Scramble) and Kitson is touring Australia with his latest stand-up show We Are Gathered Here.

Last time Kitson was in town I managed to catch one of his shows in the Triple R performance space and was thoroughly entertained. He's in Melbourne now as part of the Fringe Festival. Details for Adelaide and Perth are here (along with podcasts of previous shows).

Martin will be on ADbc on SBS this Thursday at 9pm.

Ten in the Pink

Australia loves Pink. The fact that I don't have to clarify that I'm talking about the singer and not the colour is testament to that. But how 'Pink' can we get? When digital radio was launched earlier in the year there was an entire station devoted to Pink. At first it was just Pink songs, then when the fact that playing songs from just 5 albums might become a bit repetitive sunk in, the station started playing Pink-inspired music - that's music that Pink likes, and music that's like Pink.

So it's not completely surprising to learn that channel 10's Australian Idol is doing a 'Pink' show this Sunday. That's right, an entire night of the contestants singing Pink songs.

Let's put this in perspective; previously Aus. Idol has done Beatles night, 80's night, disco night, Australian artist night, number 1 hit night, etc, etc. There has never been a Christina Aguilera night, or a Britney Spears night, or even an Anastasia night - you remember - that loud, rambunctious singer that wasn't hugely popular in her own country but made a killing over here?

Don't get me wrong, I think Pink is better than the average pop-singer and I've heard rave reviews of her Funhouse tour from even the most hardened music-elitist - I just think this is one of the most bizarre things the Australian Idol gang have done to try and boost the shameful ratings this season. Introducing a new judge? understandable. Changing the timeslot? Okay. Having a Pink night? Just skip to the Opera House already.
Meanwhile, pocket-rocket Sabrina got the boot last week and 'told-all' to Sydney's Daily Telegraph 'confidential' blog. She said that she misses Kyle and described him as "witty and funny" - clearly the trauma of being evicted has effected her logic.

Questions Answered and Then Some

Tonights Q&A on ABC was an edge-of-the-seat thriller. British author, journalist, literary critic and political observer Christopher Hitchens was a force to be reckoned with as he shot down in flames both his fellow panelists and those audience members that dared to question his commentary.

It's not often that the very intelligent and quick-witted Waleed Aly comes out second best in a debate but Hitchens was hard to beat tonight on topics such as the Israel/Palestine conflict, same-sex marriage and the treatment of women in Iran.

The video should be on the website soon, so if you missed it tonight, you can take a look at some really fresh, thought-provoking and exciting television - no Plucka Duck in sight, I promise.

(And look out next week for more sparks from Germaine Greer.)


* there is also a brilliant little Political Dictionary page on the Q&A site which is definitely good for a giggle.

Hey Hey the Verdict

Yes, I sat through the whole THREE hours of it. I did have aspirin and booze at the ready but surprisingly didn't use it - though it wasn't a completely pain-free experience.

Here's the run-down.

Unfortunately for everyone Darryl insisted on dancing AND singing and on telling his usual bad jokes. Besides that though - there were definitely some good moments, and there were some epic fails too. (If there was one person that didn't change channels during "Red Faces" I want to meet that person - and have them commited).

After Darryl's intro where he stated that Hey Hey really wanted to showcase young, new Australian talent - he introduced Jimmy Barnes. Twitter was instantly abuzz with people saying they were expecting John Farnham, and lo and behold, after the ad break Darryl announced that Farnsy would indeed be on the show later. Farnsy was, however, in the middle of a concert in Queensland so Darryl spent the last hour of the show stalling a live cross so that he could say hi to John between songs.

Speaking of Twitter, within 10 minutes of the show being on air #heyhey was a trending topic. By the second ad break it was number 1. Of course the second ad break was not far from the first, or the third, or the many to follow - I think the show might actually have fit into a one hour special were it not for the constant breaks.

Hey Hey tried to show that it had moved with the times by mentioning the infamous Facebook group that started this whole debacle and an email address for people to send their well wishes. In fact, someone was "unbeknownst to channel 9" illegally streaming the show on the internet which interestingly allowed Darryl to cross live to a woman in Michigan, USA - but it wasn't planned of course and nobody knew those naughty scamps would be streaming *wink wink*.

The show stuck to tradition by having b-grade celebs for the segments - the puffin-muffin girl (from the iSelect health insurance ads) was one third of the panel for "Celebrity Head" and pop-singer Cassie Davis (Cassie who? I hear you say) was a judge on Red Faces.

The hot competition for the night, Masterchef, had been mentioned three times in the first half hour - it was as if they were daring people to switch over. Even worse, there was a skit by Russell Gilbert called "Disaster Chef" that was painfully unfunny. In fact, Russell was as bad as he ever was - with his toilet humour and outdated jokes, his gags went down like a kebab-caravan-6am-special.

Particularly awkward moments (besides every second Russell Gilbert was on screen)? The "Great Aussie Joke" segment was a jaw-dropping affair. It seems the folk at channel 9 decided to bring Maurie Fields (who died in 1995) back from the dead without advising the viewers. It was an awkward moment of father/son joke telling with Maurie's son Marty sitting beside his father thanks to some fancy graphics (a la Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole in the "Unforgettable" video clip). It might have actually been a good segment were it not for the fact that Maurie passed away so very long ago and many viewers nowadays (watching for the first time) would have no idea who he was.

Livinia Nixon should stick to weather. She's a lovely girl but has nothing interesting to say - and she did encourage Darryl to dance - which I'm pretty sure is a chargeable offence.

There had to be a major fashion faux pa and that award goes to Cassie Davis and the badly-ripped-jeans. It seems she was channelling a fashion tragedy from the last time Hey Hey was on tv.

Highlights? There were a few. John Farnham singing "Freedom" - I know, it's horribly daggy of me but I just love him, I can't help it. I've always loved him. I've got "Whispering Jack" on vinyl okay? There, I said it. Judge me as you will.

Molly's Melodrama was definitely a highlight. Molly is a national treasure in my opinion and watching him bluff his way through his segment it was as if he'd never left the studio. John Blackman is as quick-witted as ever and he and Molly bounced off each other well. In fact, Molly was all over tv tonight - also starring on the panel of ABC music quiz show Spicks and Specks at 8:30pm.

Speaking of national treasures, Brian Nankervis as beat poet Raymond J. Bartholomew was simply brilliant (currently on Rockwiz on SBS). It was the first laugh-out-loud moment of the evening for me - how does Brian Nankervis not have his own tv show?

Perhaps because I had such low expectations, I could say that all in all it was a pleasant few hours of nostalgia - but it was really as if the show had never been off the air. To be honest, I don't care if they bring it back as a weekly show, because it can only mean that channel 9 will program less Two and a Half Men.

Chas Licciardello from The Chaser said it best on Twitter;

Big Night on the Box

Well the big day has arrived - there are some serious decisions to be made tonight with several shows competing for your attention on free to air tv.

First of all, there is the much publicized, much gossiped about, much anticipated Hey Hey it's Saturday The Reunion, running a whopping two and a half hours from 7:30pm on channel 9.

Channel 10 has the debut of the special celebrity version of it's powerhouse Masterchef, from 7:30pm.

Over on the national broadcaster at 9pm is the much-anticipated (for all the right reasons), Hungry Beast - Andrew Denton's production company Zapruder's Other Films did a call out earlier in the year for young media talent to create a current affairs type show with a difference - and this is the result.

Channel 7 have gone with World's Strictest Parents and City Homicide - which is either conceding defeat or giving it their best - who can really tell?

The real item-of-interest for me is the Hey Hey special. I truly want it to be something special but fear that it may be memorable for all the wrong reasons. When discussing tonight's line-up with a friend I insisted that she watch at least part of the Hey Hey special - because it's history either way - whether it's so bad it gets taken off air half way through, or it's so good that it heralds a new boost in light entertainment and local funding for Australian tv.

Clearly everyone is expecting the former rather than the latter - but channel 9 will certainly have their fingers crossed.

Coming to a Television Near You