"Des Moran killed as fear stalks Ascot Vale"
I'm not sure if writer and ASSOCIATE EDITOR of the Herald Sun, John Hamilton, is in the right business - methinks he'd be better off penning fluffy prose for Mills & Boon. An entire article based on a parakeet with an anxiety disorder is almost too much to bear. My favourite line;
"Outside the florist's shop, the parakeet tries his cheerful whistle again. Then stops. And trembles again."- there are so many things wrong with that sentence I'm not sure where to begin.
Worse still is that this made PAGE FOUR of the actual paper! Both this and an article about channel 10's Masterchef got top billing ahead of Peter Costello's retirement ... I honestly wonder at how I'm still shocked.
The title though, must take the cake. Fear 'stalks' Ascot Vale does it? How terrible. Perhaps Ascot Vale should stop updating its status on Twitter? Or take out an AVO?
Almost 600 words of 'setting the scene' - I've forgotten, is the Herald Sun a newspaper or the Old Testament? Talk about trying to ride the coat-tails of an already dramatised series of events - perhaps Hamilton is trying to get a job as a writer for series 3 of Underbelly?
Really, I'm just not sure that glamorising the high drama of another gangland murder is such a good idea ... it's not like there's any money to be made in it ...
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